Thank You, Joan Rivers

Sammy_Buck — Mon, 11 May 2009 16:32:55 GMT

I had a sty last week. I get them when I don't sleep much. I looked at myself in the mirror one morning. With my puffy eyebrow obscuring my eye, the rest of my eyelid looked pulled back.

In short, I looked like Joan Rivers.

Now, much has been said of Miss Joan in these last few weeks because of the Celebrity Apprentice. Did anyone see the finale? Did anyone relish in the tacky opening - when Trump does his intro at the Natural History Museum? He sets the stage for the showdown between ruthless Annie and our Joan - and the camera shows us, respectively, a shark and a dinosaur.

OK, we get it: She's 75. You could do a drinking game based on this season of Celeb Apprentice - where ya take a drink every time someone refers to Joan's age. You'd get s**tfaced before the first commercial break.

I, for one, will not make fun of her for her age or her facelift, or liftts, or liftses, but I admit her features were put in perspective in the party scene when a female impersonator shows up as Joan Rivers. It reminded me what Melissa Rivers looked like before she became Odo on Star Trek Deep Space Nine.

Look -- I agree with The Donald when he praised her energy and strength, and agree that she is a tenacious survivor. But some days I wonder if there truth in what her competitor said: "She's an amazing lady, but not a nice lady"?

Like many, I have a very complicated relationship with Ms. Rivers. Not that I know her or anything, but I blame her for making me late for summer school in 1982, because I listened to her comedy album (on cassette) over and over one night.

I also blame her for one of my weirdest quirks. To make a short story long: My aunt is in the eyeglass business and is an artiste of "framestyling." I have a pair of glasses for every day of the week - designers like Calvin Klein, Oggi, Lanvin, etc. I always notice other people's glasses. And what do I say to a bespectacled person every time?

"WHO ARE YOU WEARING?"

Oh, Joan, you ruin me.

But without Joan Rivers and that album that made me late for summer school, I wouldn't know anything about gynecology. So maybe it's a wash.

One of the most indelible memories I have of the 1987 Emmy Awards (because everyone should have at least one good 1987 Emmy memory) is Joan Rivers in her first public appearance after her husband's death (she presented Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy). She was uncharacteristically subdued but strong. She mispronounced Woody Harrelson's name, but it didn't matter. She had been through hell and here she was, standing tall, in front of the public eye.

So if she can do that - and survive a season of the most cutthroat reality TV while gaining the respect of Dennis Rodman, then she's good people in my book.

I'm excited to see the brash Rivers use her tough-love skills on the rich when she launches into them on her new show for TV Land PRIME, How'd You Get So Rich? Even if "she's not a nice lady," Joanie Riverson knows how to ask the questions none of us dare to ask, to say the things we wish we could say, and to teach a 13-year-old boy... well, you know.

Photos credits (top to bottom): Thos Robinson/Stringer; Jim Spellman/Contributor; Michael Tighe/Contributor. All photo courtesy Getty Images.

Re: Thank You, Joan Rivers

Tree — Mon, 11 May 2009 19:07:28 GMT

I don't think the ratings for this new show, with Joan Rivers, are going to be very good after how she and Melissa showed their true colors on the Celebrity Apprentice show. It's one thing to be brash, bold and funny, but she and Melissa were notorious for calling their female apponents rude and insulting names like "Stupid Blonde", "Sluts", and "Whores" to say a few. Plus, Joan was a cold face liar when she said that she didn't insult David Tutera (The Party Planner). Does she even know who he is? Joan and Melissa claim that they are so experienced in what they do for a living, don't they realize that David is more than experienced, he's a gifted artist, at what he does for a living! Joan should of been thanking God for sending her David Tutera to be her party planner. I've seen some of his shows and he can work miracles transforming gymnasiums into elegant ballrooms. And shame on Donald Trump for giving away the Celebrity Apprentice title to Joan Rivers after how she continuously belittled and insulted the other stars on the show. He should of called Joan out for lying about not insulting David Tutera, but instead he let her get away with publicly calling Anne Duke a liar for trying to tell the truth about why Mr. Tutera backed off of the show. Donald Trump, instead of tellling Joan that she owes David Tutera a huge apology for how she treated him, just let the audience think that Joan didn't do anything wrong and that Anne was out of line for accusing Joan of insulting Mr. Tutera. It was so obvious that Donald Trump let Joan win Celebrity Apprentice because he doesn't want to have to deal with her and Melissa bad mouthing him if she didn't win it. I don't think the Celebrity Apprentice show ratings are going to be so good in the future either. From what I've been reading about the results of the show, all day, nobody is interested in watching the show ever again, after Donald Trump blew it by giving Joan Rivers, the foul mouthed, rude, winey, stretched to the max face, so called comedian, the Celebrity Apprentice title.

She Sucks!