Stacey The Cougar Gets Personal

Fairy Tale Ending?

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 15:07:14 GMT

Today's going to be one of the biggest days of my life. It's also going to be incredibly bittersweet. My kids are coming to the house and I can't wait to see them! But tonight I have to face Colt and Jimmy, both of whom I care about deeply. I'm painfully aware that tonight, one of these guys will have his heart broken. My own heart is already aching just thinking about saying goodbye. On the other hand, I'm excited about starting a life with the man I love. My mind is flooded with emotions!

My kids are here. I wrapped my arms around them and got to spend some one-on-one family time together. It felt great to have them with me again. They first met Colt, who was incredibly calm and relaxed with my kids. He got right to their level and answered all their questions in a straightforward way. Kids can pick up on someone "trying too hard" to earn their trust, and he definitely never once put on a false front. Graham even said to Colt that "he is who he is." My children are seeing the same things that I do in Colt, and that's so reassuring. Colt knows my kids are musically inclined, so I loved that he played the guitar for Graham, Delaney and Tatym. I was amazed at how well he interacted with each of my children. Seeing this, I knew I made the right decision to have Colt as one of the final two.

Jimmy arrived with flowers in hand and groceries to make dinner with my kids. What a perfect way to break the ice, because my kids love to cook with me at home. My kids were constantly smiling around Jimmy. Jimmy has this persona that instantly puts someone at ease. I could tell my kids sensed this as well. At dinner, we were all comfortable, laughing, and the conversation was flowing. Nothing seemed contrived or unnatural. Introducing my children to someone I date is a rarity and I am cautious. But Jimmy put me at total peace once I saw how he connected so easily with my kids. It was so cute to hear Tatym ask Jimmy if he was in love with me! Then Delaney spilled the beans at dinner and told me Jimmy said he was; I was completely taken off guard.

Upstairs getting ready for the kiss-off, all I did was pace. I was a mess. When Colt walked into the room, all I wanted to do was run. I wasn't ready at that moment to say goodbye. I probably would never be ready. I fell in love with Colt, but I wasn't sure if he was ready to have a committed relationship with me. It's so hard to make a decision from snapshot moments, but at the same time I believe in love at first sight. I knew from the minute Colt walked off the bus that first night, he was someone special. Colt's personality shines right through his beautiful smile and I had a gut instinct that he would be at the house until the end.

There was so much more I wanted to talk to Colt about, to share and experience. But we didn't have time on our side. Saying goodbye to Colt crushed my heart. I knew we had a connection on so many levels, but I'd fallen in love with someone else. What scared me the most is that it's easy to fall in love -- staying in love is the hard part. I could only hope that I was making the right decision.

I chose Jimmy for so many reasons. Off camera, we had very intimate moments and conversations about our future. Jimmy is a family man, and I was so attracted to that side of him. I could tell he enjoyed my children and that he appreciates large families. When I met his family, I instantly felt at home. They were so welcoming and warm, and I could visualize me and my kids fitting right in with the Hecks.

Jimmy's charisma and charm is addictive. Every time he walks into a room, I feel drawn to his larger-than-life presence. He has a great sense of humor, and I'm always laughing out loud around him. Jimmy and I have great chemistry. It's funny that he pointed out that some things are "unspoken" and I originally shot him down for that comment. Now I know what he meant: We just clicked. Our energies and passions were completely in sync.

Even though Jimmy told my girls he was in love with me, my biggest fear was that once I told Jimmy I was in love with him, he would get cold feet. So when he got down on one knee and proposed, I was ecstatic! Here I was, at 40, with the man of my dreams on one knee, professing his love. When he placed the ring on my finger I had no fears or reservations. It felt completely right. I felt like I was in a dream! We had fallen in love with each other. Driving away in the limo, we couldn't stop looking at each other in awe and disbelief that we met and fell in love. In such a short time, we both knew in our hearts that love knows no age boundaries and no time restraints.

Message Edited by StaceyTheCougar on 06-04-2009 11:09 AM

Message Edited by StaceyTheCougar on 06-04-2009 11:10 AM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 08-10-2009 03:54 PM

Viva Las Vegas!

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:12:26 GMT

The saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" certainly doesn't apply here: I can't stop talking about our trip to Sin City and how much fun I had with the final three guys!

My date with Colt was off the charts. I don't do well with commercial flights, but put all fears aside and couldn't wait to board the helicopter. I figured if I had a meltdown on the ride, that Colt would be there to reassure me. Wrong! He was absolutely petrified -- the sweat marks under his arms were the size of Rhode Island. He was such a trooper though, and as he clenched my hand, he made every effort to enjoy the ride with me.

The best part of the ride was landing on a majestic peak overlooking the Valley of Fire. There we shared a Mediterranean picnic and Champagne while looking at the horizon. It was beautiful. Flying over The Strip at dusk and looking down upon the city lights was equally romantic and magical. Over dinner, Colt shared his feelings with me, and I have to say, at that moment, I connected with Colt in a way that took me by surprise. He has this way of making me feel special no matter what I might be talking about. He's always supportive of what I share with him and can give me constructive criticism when I need it.

It's so important for a woman to be acknowledged, and Colt knows exactly how to do just that. If I don't connect with someone intellectually, I'm bored in five minutes. It isn't easy finding a partner who keeps me engaged. Colt is a constant mind stimulator and I find his style intriguing. He's also ridiculously smart and opens my mind to new ideas and possibilities. He encourages me. I can tell life with him would be one adventure after another. One of my biggest challenges is finding someone who shares passion in knowledge, deeper thought and creativity. I have felt that Colt has all of this to offer from the first night. Our romantic bubble bath was the perfect time to tell Colt I was falling for him. I was speaking from the heart, but my mind was racing in thought. My feelings for Colt grew by leaps and bounds in Vegas. I love his company, our conversation, his humor, and of all things, his voice. He's got this sexy, calming voice that feels totally familiar.

Racing cars is one of my favorite things to do, so I couldn't wait to show up Mr. Macho (a.k.a. Jimmy) on the race track. I could tell Jimmy was out of his element when he arrived. He lost that confident, debonair way about him and seemed nervous as hell. We suited up, hit the track and I lost him the minute my foot hit the gas -- he was stuck in the wrong gear! Off camera, we popped Champagne to celebrate my victory. When I sprayed him with it, it went right into his eyes, which then became bloodshot and swollen. Talk about adding insult to injury!

Our poolside dinner was so romantic, and Jimmy looked incredibly handsome. That boy knows how to dress. I felt like I could be completely myself around him. I never feel like I have to try too hard with Jimmy; we just seem to click. I feel like I've known him so much longer than I have. Jimmy once told me that he sometimes connects in non-verbal ways. I didn't totally agree at the time, but now I see his view. Jimmy and I have this non-verbal connection that is magnetic for us both. The best way I can describe it is to say it's a soul connection. His presence and style makes me feel like a princess when he is by my side. He walks into any room, at any time, and lights it up. He has an energy about him that draws me to him in a very powerful way.

Gambling in the high roller room was a blast; Jimmy surprises me with how well he carries himself at 23. He understood the strategies of blackjack really well. When he told me to double down on a 12, I questioned his move, but ultimately that hand won me a few hundred bucks!

Our suite looked like a mini-bungalow off an island in Hawaii. One thing is for sure: Jimmy is consistently aggressive physically, which he once again displayed on the pool table. What woman doesn't like a take-charge, sexy and confident man? I've questioned Jimmy's motives from the beginning, but tonight was different. He's expressed over and over that he's here for me. I felt that in Vegas more than ever.

Travis and I hit the spa for the perfect date. He's so relaxed and at ease with himself, so this was complementary to his personality. We enjoyed a couple's massage and then painted each other with a mud mask. I've never experienced that before, and I must say it takes some trust, because I seriously thought we were going to have a mud mask fight and smear it all over each other! Now that we were covered in the green mud, we had to clean up.

Yep...you guessed it -- that's what lead to the steam shower. I'm blushing as I write this, but all I can say is WOW. Travis is beautiful from head to toe. He's chiseled, adorable and sexy wrapped up in one. Our conversation on the deck was more than awkward. I'm sensing that Travis is burdened by his mother's words. I know Travis wants to "date" me, as he's expressed this. I'm not so sure he is ready for a full-blown relationship, though. I'm here to find love, and not just have a fling.

When I met up with Travis for dinner, he was playing a baby grand in the lounge. He's so talented at such a young age. I don't think he gives himself enough credit for his musical gift! At dinner, I teased him about going to the Elvis Chapel of Love and that I had a ring in my purse. His reaction was classic Travis, and that's what I love about him. Travis can laugh at himself and roll with the punches. He is very centered in who he is, which is something that makes him mature beyond his years. In the suite, we danced on coffee tables, Travis did bed flips, and we laughed and laughed. He is so much fun to be with! I can totally let loose and be silly around him.

Vegas was everything I expected. It gave me the chance to get to know each of the guys on a more intimate level. Since the guys didn't see each other during the trip, their sole focus would be on me. I want these guys to put as much thought into being with me long term as I do them. This isn't a frivolous decision for me. We're all so lucky to have this experience that brought us together. Call it serendipity or fate, but whatever it may be, I'm falling for each of them. My mind is consumed with the one man who will be standing in the end.

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 05-28-2009 11:37 AM

Family Reunion(s)

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 21 May 2009 02:00:42 GMT

Today was a big day for me because I was meeting the families! First up: Travis' relatives. I was especially nervous because his mother is only 7 years older than I am. Part of me thought we could have a great friendship, but the other part of me knew she would be protective. His mom was shocked to learn I was 40 and had four kids. She had a lot of reservations -- which she expressed to me in no indirect fashion.

I was a little uneasy, but as a mother I understand where she was coming from. I really felt that I needed to assure her I would never put Travis in a situation to sacrifice or to be a distraction. I need an equal in life, and putting someone in a position to choose or to interfere with getting ahead in life isn't a healthy start.

I was surprised how much Travis stood up for me -- and us -- to his mother. Travis is very mature in that way, and he stands firm in who he is with solid conviction. When I kissed Travis in front of his mom, she said, "Ewwww!" That wasn't exactly the response I was after, but it did make me laugh a little. I understand his family's concerns, and agree that Travis and I may have way too much of an age gap. It's tough, because I really like Travis, who he is, and what he stands for.

Jimmy's family made me feel at ease, especially since I also come from a large Italian family. His parents seemed more concerned about ME, not my age. That was so refreshing and made me relax right away. They were so supportive of our relationship, and I sensed that they truly felt we were a great couple. They are so family-oriented and so tight with each other. I love that! Jimmy is lucky to be blessed with five siblings and such loving parents. I could definitely see me and my kids fitting right in with the Hecks. Jimmy's dad was concerned first and foremost about my kids. That means so much to me. When Jimmy's mom said she'd welcome me into the family, it made my heart melt.

I was a train wreck meeting Colt's brothers. I have that sick intuition that comes into play, and I think I knew right away that they would be tough on me. Colt takes his brothers' opinions very seriously, so I felt like I was going to have to get their stamp of approval. What if they didn't like me? I could tell his brothers were less than amused to hear I had four kids. I'm not sure if their reaction was because they felt like Colt wasn't ready for that, or if they were just plain shocked. When Duke and I had our private conversation, I felt so much better; it's tough being up against three strong-headed, confident men!

When they asked me if it was "painful" I said "No, not at all." I told a white lie. It was scary as hell! I know my feelings run deep for Colt, and so I placed importance on this meeting -- so much so that it got the best of me. I definitely sensed that Colt was proud to introduce me to his brothers, and that made me feel special. His brothers said he NEVER holds a girl's hand, so they were very taken back to see Colt hold mine. I wonder what that's about? Is Colt unaffectionate or just super-selective? Hopefully it's the latter.

I can't say I was surprised that Adam brought Grant. It was fun to see him again, but I have to say I was disappointed that I didn't meet his parents. Adam openly admitted his parents wouldn't approve of me, so clearly we have a problem. Grant told me that he was the reason Adam "came along for the ride" of this whole experience. It's becoming clear that I should have kept Grant at the house and not his twin. Adam said Grant is cramping his style. Actually, Adam is cramping Adam's style. I really do like him, and many of his qualities. But obviously he hasn't been genuine and real. No woman likes to be taken for a ride, and I'm no exception.

It was a no-brainer sending Adam home. I am sure one day I will see him in Park City, and hopefully we'll remain friends. I understand his position with his parents, but I'm not sure why he dates cougars if his family would give him so much grief over it - and he's not able to handle their disapproval.

Message Edited by StaceyTheCougar on 05-20-2009 10:02 PM

Kiss and Make Up?

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 14 May 2009 02:00:01 GMT

Every morning I wake up to coffee, but this morning I got to wake up to a kissing challenge with the six remaining guys! This is very telling, because a kiss -- and the way it makes you feel -- can be very revealing! Jimmy and Jon won the challenge. Need I say more about Jimmy's kiss?! WOW! It was electric and passionate. His funny side is coming out, and it showed in the length of time he kissed me. He was definitely trying to get a rise out of the guys, and it showed on their faces that he did.

I kind of sensed that it was Jon who put his hand over my heart, because he did that at the indoor skydiving date. Jon's kiss was sweet and I did feel chemistry.

I was anxious to see how Jimmy and Jon were going to interact on the date at the winery. Jimmy knows a lot about wine. He seemed comfortable and not the least bit intimidated. Jon, however, made a really awkward comment that made Jimmy and I both look at him in utter confusion. When he said he liked "plum wine" we were like, "Whaaatt?!" I like cooking sherry too, haha. You could tell right away that if Jon is out of his element, he has a hard time fitting in. I need a man who can be somewhat of a chameleon and can adapt in any environment.

I called Jon out on his lack of a "fun side" and he said he would "show me." I am still waiting. He's had the most dates with me and has had plenty of time to show me that side of him. I'm beginning to wonder if it exists. I do like that Jon is taking this seriously, and have to give him credit for that. But I also need to laugh and smile with the guy I chose.

Jimmy and I talked about his past relationship and how important his brother is to him. He exposed his sensitive side to me when he shed a tear. That says a lot about Jimmy and how he views family. Not many guys will cry in front of a girl! Jimmy is a "guy's guy," so it really surprised me when he exposed his vulnerability. What was even more surprising was his physical aggressiveness: It was playful, romantic and sexy when he ripped his shirt off and kissed me on the bed. I didn't expect to be dazzled by him on this date, but I was.

Back at the house, the guys were talking about Jon and how he never hits the Jacuzzi with them and camps out on the couch below the cougar den. I guess the guys are seeing what I do, and Jon really needs to start being a part of the group to show me he can interact.

My date with Travis and Adam was good and bad. With Travis, I have no reservations -- anything he tells me is real and truthful. What you see is what you get with Travis! Every time I am with him, I am more and more at ease, and feel like I can completely be myself. Adam, on the other hand, keeps skirting questions. When I asked Adam who he would be most scared to introduce me to, he said "Grant." I got so upset with Adam, because I can't relate and respond to half-truths. It began to wear on me.

I wonder if he deserves to be at the house, and often think that letting David go was a huge mistake. David may be shy, but at least he opened up. I confronted the guys back at the house and told them I can't handle, quite frankly, b.s. When Jon laughed at me, I was floored. Here I was, trying to express my feelings, and Jon shot me down with a sarcastic snicker. Then he tried to start an argument with Travis for no apparent reason. He is getting under my skin. I'm protective of the guys, and if I see arrogance like that, it doesn't go unnoticed.

It may seem like I am asking the guys too many point-blank questions. But when I have to make a decision in such a short amount of time, that's the only way I know how to get down to the core issues of having a successful relationship. I took the guys to the beach so we could all relax, but at the same time, get down to the heart of the matter. I have to eliminate two guys tonight and want solid answers.

Adam and I had one of the most real and heartfelt talks since he's been at the house. I do feel like he is trying to open up as best as he knows how. He told me Jon started a fight with Travis and I was not happy about that.

Joe is so sincere and genuine, but I'm not sure if I have that spark and connection with him. He said the "L" word, which was flattering and very profound, but also scary. That's a big word, and although I love the time I've had with Joe, I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear that.

I told Jon that his reaction to my conversation was out of line. He didn't have much to say about it other than it "wasn't me." When I asked, "If it wasn't you, who was it?" he really had nothing to say. When he said Travis started the fight, I knew right then and there he was full of it. Travis is non-confrontational and gets along with all the guys in the house. Jon is beginning to show me that he lacks confidence. Laughing at me and starting trouble with Travis is clearly a lack of self control. If someone lashes out at others when conflict arises, it shows they might not have life-coping skills. I need someone who can be there for me through struggles -- not add to them.

I had to say goodbye to Jon and Joe. With Jon, I'm disappointed things didn't continue in a positive light from our first date. I really thought Jon stood a chance to be one of the last men standing. He has a very mature side to him and is an attractive guy, but may be a bit too conservative and uptight for my taste. Jon is stable in many ways of his life, but with social interactions, I saw another side that I didn't like. Meanwhile, Joe was a hard guy to let go! If I had more time with Joe, maybe he would still be at the house. But unfortunately, time is not on our side. Joe is remarkably mature, level-headed and such a gentleman at such a young age. Any girl will be lucky to have him!

Next week I meet the families of the final four guys. How nerve-wracking and exciting! It should also be fun meeting the families and gauging their reactions to me, so be sure to tune in.

Message Edited by StaceyTheCougar on 05-14-2009 03:57 PM

Turn-Ons, Secrets and Sadness

StaceyTheCougar — Fri, 08 May 2009 07:34:43 GMT

We started the day with a little twist: truth and consequences! The interesting thing about this challenge is that the most revealing and shocking secret wins. So, the guys can't hold back their deepest, darkest secrets if they want to be victorious. It puts them at risk of revealing something that's so shocking, they might be eliminated on the spot.

I kind of laughed at the "I tortured crabs" secret, but how sad for the little buggers! I assumed it had to be Travis, since he's a diehard surfer. And acting gay to get cocktails?! I have to admit, that's pretty damn clever. The secret "I was visited by my dead uncle" made me think it was a joke. I later learned it was Jimmy and he wasn't kidding around. He claims he really did see his uncle's spirit. Some other secrets from the guys included:

Austin: Stole his parents car

Jon: Cheated on girlfriend

Joe: Pretends to be gay at bars when guys hit on him for free drinks

Adam: Has always pretended to be religious to please his family

David: Went on a trip and did not tell girlfriend

Ryan: Went to rehab for a drug problem

Colt: Honestly likes two Spice Girl's songs

I chose Jon and Ryan because their secrets were so forthcoming, personal and honest. I appreciated that, because they both took the risk of being asked to leave because of the intensity of their secrets.

I give Ryan credit for taking the steps to turn his life around through rehab. That is a real life issue, and I truly believe in the power of forgiveness and renewing yourself. But I wonder after seeing his interaction with the other guys if Ryan still has some issues he needs to address. We all have our faults, and recognition of them is the first step to healing. I was very surprised when Jon stepped forward to say he cheated on his girlfriend with her best friend. He crossed two boundaries -- and I knew that I had to have an explanation. He was the last person I thought would take ownership of that secret!

When I had time with Ryan at the indoor skydiving center, I gave him the chance to get to know me. Instead he asked me if I was affectionate and what turns me on. After that conversation, I could definitely tell him what turns me off. Sure, physical chemistry is important, but looks aren't everything. I like to dive deep into another person and find out what makes them tick. Ryan scratched the surface. I knew at that point that I should not wait until the kiss-off to ask Ryan to leave. Ryan landed himself in the friend category for several reasons, and our one-on-one time only validated why.

I was dreading my talk with Jon, and I bet he was nervous as hell! He did give me a genuine, heartfelt explanation and I think he deeply regrets ever doing that to his girlfriend. I do have a level of trust with Jon and his words seemed sincere -- as usual. Jon was so nervous he placed my hand over his heart so I could feel it beating a mile a minute. I thought he was going to drop dead of a heart attack! I knew he was sincerely relieved when I gave him a second chance.

When I got home, I had to tell the guys Ryan was gone. That was sad because, despite some of the drama inflicted by Ryan, he does have a sweet and very funny side to him. I think, as days went by, the guys started to see that side of him. The more accepted Ryan was, the more he mellowed out and showed his humor to me and the other guys.

Jimmy and I talked in the lounge about his mostly "non-verbal" cues. Um, I am not a mind reader. I have never had a telepathic relationship, and don't plan on having one in the near future. I did like how Jimmy was, at the very least, trying to open up. I have to give him credit for finally stepping off the bleachers and into the game.

In the cabana, I called Colt out. I really missed the man I saw off the bus the first night, and I wanted him back. Colt promised to step it up; I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he will.

I brought Joe to the Cougar Den, to the dismay of the other guys. I feel comfortable with Joe, and couldn't think of a better guy to share some "down time" with. Joe is so soft-spoken and sweet that he has this relaxing, calming effect that is good for the soul.

I have to admit, going into the song challenge, Colt had the upper hand for sure. And he came through just like he said he would. I could tell he put heart into the song and did what he promised. A man of his word is golden. In the perfect world, we girls would tell a man once what we want, and he'd deliver! Colt did just that.

Adam has great lyrics but whoaaaa, his voice! I'm not sure if I'd rather listen to him sing or hear nails across a chalkboard. Once again Travis was all smiles. He has a great attitude 24/7. Jon had a voice similar to Adam, and what was Joe thinking?! His free-styling turned bad, fast.

Jimmy was so desperate to win a challenge, but he bombed! I thought Austin's lyrics were very deep and that's what keeps me intrigued by him. David: I thought brother's have soul and rhythm, haha! He's a self-proclaimed bad dancer, and he can't keep a tune. But I know David is here for the right reason. If we have a sexy smile challenge, David will win the gold medal!

I didn't know Jimmy was trying to pull a psychological maneuver on Colt in the kitchen. He was driving the point home that if Colt didn't bring his A-game on the date, he could be sent home right then and there. These guys are so manipulative in trying to beat each other down.

I couldn't wait to get Colt out of the house, away from the guys, and alone with me. I was even more excited to do something for him that I knew he would be floored by. The look on his face when the curtains went up was priceless. We had a very open conversation and it made my feelings for Colt gain momentum as the night went on.

Colt's a real person and shared that he was unemployed. Typically, that might make me nervous, but I see something in him that's very unique. He has the personality to be successful no matter what path he takes in life. When we danced and kissed, I felt like a princess in a fairy tale. Thinking of that kiss gives me butterflies in my stomach! It was so romantic being in an amphitheater by ourselves with the band Waz playing for just the two of us. I feel a connection with Colt on many levels. Keep doing whatever it is you're doing, Colt -- it's working!

When I got back to the house, I found Austin crying in his bedroom. Emotions are starting to run high, including mine. I am gaining real feeling for the guys, even if some of them are closer to being a friend, and I care for them all. We're starting to bond and open up more with each other -- which is what I've wanted all along!

Cubs Got Talent!

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:39:33 GMT

I was really excited to start the day with a talent show. Too often people are judged like a book by its cover, but this was a great way for the guys to showcase their talent. Adam has undiscovered talent as a rapper and writes hysterical lyrics. His "Have your mom pull up the mini van" line was classic. David, as masculine as he is, has no reservations about performing a sock puppet show. Austin gave one of the best Borat impersonations I've ever seen. The guys and I could not stop laughing out loud when he asked, "Are you a women and can I see?" Johnny surprised me with his endearing mime routine; it showed me the sweet side of him.

I was really impressed with Jimmy's Shakespeare -- up to this point I didn't think he had much depth to him. Nick put his rear end in my face, and as if that wasn't enough, he handcuffed me... it kind of gave me the creeps! Colt told me off camera that he is a master of BBQ, so I thought for sure he'd grill up some ribs or burgers to show off his culinary talents. Nope! Instead he performed a very bizarre dance routine.

When I took the winners of the talent show to go salsa dancing, I had high hopes that the evening would reveal who each of the four guys truly are. We had a fun time running to salsa, but getting to know the guys was a sheer disappointment. I was having a hard time making a connection with any of them. I think these guys are still in the mode of protecting their position with each other -- instead of with me. David was an exception to this and was a perfect gentleman, but he does seem shy around me.

The dress challenge was definitely an eye opener! Only a few guys really nailed my wardrobe style. Vivica is a fashion diva and was stunned at the guys' picks for me. The bright coral dress with the side cutout looked like something I would wear if I were a skater at the Ice Capades! The hot pink sequin dress with ruffles... WOW! I thought it was a practical joke (later I found out that Ryan picked the coral dress and Johnny picked the mariachi band dress). What was Adam thinking by choosing the pink ballerina dress? Vivica said, "I looked like I should be on top of a jewelry box".

Joe deserved to win the challenge, hands down. The dress was elegant, not too revealing and exactly my style. Joe is one of the younger guys in the house so I was really impressed with his selection. Even more impressive was how he handled himself on our dinner date: He appreciates fine dining and is an experienced wine connoisseur. He's 100 percent a gentleman and wise beyond his years. When he tried escargot for the first time, based on my recommendation, he showed that he likes to experience new things -- I love that in a man! Although Joe did not ask me if I've ever been married or have children, I felt inclined to share that with him because the date was going so well. He didn't seem the least bit disenchanted and he handled the fact that he is the same age as my daughter very well.

I was really upset to see Kai leave the house. He's so sweet-natured, and has such a gentle way about him that it really got to me when I had to say goodbye. Nick was so great about participating in challenges and always made the extra effort to make me happy. He organized the birthday surprise and cake-baking for me, and I really appreciate him for that. My concern with Nick was that he talked about me having his heart -- and it made me question how he could fall in love so fast. Johnny is a super-sweet guy who also took extra steps to get my attention. Johnny's adorable and his heart is in the right place! My concern was that in the long run, I doubted we could have an emotional connection. All of these guys are special people and I shed tears over them leaving.

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 05-01-2009 11:32 AM

The Best Years Are to Come

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:58:40 GMT

In this episode, I celebrated the Big 4-0 -- but the guys didn't know that it was my birthday! We started the day off with a physical challenge, which told me a lot about who has a competitive spirit. The guys all had mixed ways of staying fit, but one thing is for sure: Jimmy and David have some serious ab action going on! Colt made me laugh with his Richard Simmons attire -- does he really dress like that all the time or just for laughs?

I practiced martial arts with Johnny and Austin, and flipped both of them on the ground. When J.D. was bench-pressing me, I was scared to death he was going to drop me on my ass! I was really surprised Adam was OK with me sending his brother Grant home, and it was a relief that we cleared the air.

The skate date was so much fun! I loved roller skating as a teenager, so I wanted to see if the guys would be able to show their fun side and let me relive my younger years. They were having a ton of fun skating through the obstacle course and trying to out-win each other on four wheels. Adam took strong initiative to grab me aside for one-on-one time and I loved his assertiveness. I liked his comment on "raw emotion." For me, exposing real feelings is the best chance at a solid relationship.

Travis was all smiles, as usual. I love his energy and attitude. He's always in an upbeat mood! I definitely took notice of Tom's reaction to Travis' stuffed animal gift. It showed me that maybe Tom can't handle a little competition -- and possibly an older woman.

My one-on-one time ended, once again, with a great kiss from Colt. The only problem is that I'm two for two in having to ASK for the kiss. Colt acts overly confident, but does he really have any game? I was a bit surprised how jealous the other guys got over the kiss I shared with Colt. Things are heating up not only with Colt and Ryan, but now Adam as well.

I got the birthday surprise and gift of my life when my friends Kelly and Mici showed up! I was SO happy they were at the house. I needed my friends' opinions to help me figure out which guys were top choices. I was really bummed to have to tell them that no one asked about the most important people in my life: my kids. I know that they were less than impressed with that.

The guys were so sweet go shopping for me. I could tell they all put a lot of time and thought into what they chose, and that meant so much to me. I kept thinking how I will never forget my 40th birthday, how special this day was! Jon's journal really touched me because I love to write, and have had many goals and dreams that I have written down come true. Colt's gift didn't make sense -- why would I want an ascot? Joe's dog was adorable... I told him earlier I wanted a puppy, so he bought me the next best thing!

When I read Jimmy's card, I was shocked by his brazen and bold move. That same behavior landed Kevin in the driveway on the first night. I could really tell Nick and Kai have very sweet, sensitive sides to them, and the way they presented their gifts to me showed me they were proud of what they chose.

I was really excited for my first one-on-one date. When Jon asked me if I was ever married and had children, I was ecstatic. Yes! Finally someone is getting to the deep, real-life questions. My date with Jon went so well. I was feeling a connection with him that night far more than anyone in the house. I was happy with our conversation and kiss at the end of the evening.

Overall, my 40th birthday has been amazing. I hope that this day is a foreshadowing of the year to come! Mici said my best years are ahead, and I hope that I spend those years with one of the men in this house.

Message Edited by StaceyTheCougar on 04-22-2009 11:07 PM

Age Is Just a Number

StaceyTheCougar — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 10:15:42 GMT

The anticipation of finally meeting the guys was so nerve wracking! Vivica and I got a sneak peek of the guys getting off the bus through a "spy cam." I was so impressed with what I saw that I couldn't wait to go downstairs and meet the guys face-to-face!

For me, first impressions are very telling. Women have great intuition, and I can usually size someone up quickly. But there are definitely times when someone surprises me. I decided to just go with my gut instinct and choose Travis.

Travis, a blond surfer dude from California, was my pick because he had three things I love: long hair, an argyle sweater and Champagne! I also love a musician and artistic creativity, so Colt was in the running for sure. His ascot, velvet jacket and guitar showed me he was a true original. If it was a smile contest, David would have won, hands down. I've never seen a more beautiful, contagious smile on a man!

I'm not surprised the guys were already giving Travis so much heat for winning the first impression. Travis and I were having an awesome time together. Instead of "crying upstairs" like one of the guys said, Travis was bold enough to lean over and kiss me. And by the way, he's a great kisser!

Bodie, the pool boy, posed the question to the guys about children, but not one guy posed the question to me. It's very important to be able to share the fact that I do have children, and I'm curious who will ultimately ask me first. I'm not happy that these guys haven't been bold enough to ask me yet!

I would think that if they genuinely want to get to know me, a great starting point is to ask real life questions. Instead, these guys are reading off their résumés to me. It's like they think they are on The Apprentice! It worries me that some of them seem like they might be here for the wrong reasons. Jimmy, the personal trainer from San Francisco, was definitely one of the cockiest guys. I think he forgot to leave his ego at home.

I loved having time with the twins, Adam and Grant. It was fun to see the difference in their personalities right off the bat. Adam is all fun and smiles and Grant seems more logical and straightforward. One thing they do share in common is that their biggest relationship challenge has been a woman's possessiveness over them. Adam and Grant are both very attractive and have great style. I can see why women would want to put a "vice grip" on them!

20 guys + cocktails + pool = someone is taking a dive! Johnny has a wild side to him; otherwise there is no way he would cannonball into water at 50 degrees. He has an amazing body and looked hot in his boxer briefs. He showed his playful and free-spirited side, and I love a guy who can let loose and have fun.

Testosterone was running rampant at the house... One thing I've noticed about younger guys is that they have to find a pecking order with each other. It's a phenomenon that can get ugly, fast. Look what happened with Ryan and Colt. They are polar opposites on the spectrum of personalities. Add a little alcohol (a.k.a. truth serum), an ascot that didn't sit well with Ryan, competition over a woman and voilà! It's a recipe for disaster.

I think Ryan may have won the record for the number of words beeped out in a single episode. I was VERY taken aback by his level of anger. We all have opinions, but to express them in such a volatile way is out of line. I'm a non-judgmental, open-arms kind of girl and I expect the same from the man I date. In front of me, the guys were all smiles. And almost, well... angelic! It's only the first night, so I'm letting things roll as they will, but watching the guys intently.

Remember that thing called women's intuition? Sometimes I wish I was better at listening to it more closely, but my logical side kicked in. I overanalyzed Colt over his song. I'm glad we cleared the air. When he told me he genuinely cared about getting to know me, he scored some serious points. Fast. In return I felt like he should score a kiss. It was magical! Colt has great lips adorning his perfect smile.

Jon and Joe both sideswiping each other for my attention was classic! I love guys with a competitive edge. Joe has a really sweet nature that I really like. Jon seems to have his act together, but I want to hear more than "I own a home"... I got it the first time. These guys are making me laugh at their strategies and game (or lack thereof) tactics!

Round Two in the cabana with the "Southern gentleman," Kevin. Strike One: Kevin tells me he's unemployed. Strike Two: Kevin tells an offensive, off-color joke. Strike Three: You don't need a strike three to be out in my book. Especially when strike one and two are so bad. I could almost hear the needle come off the record when he told that joke. I'm sure Kevin is a nice guy and somewhere deep down he really is that Southern gentleman. Unfortunately, I never got to see it.

Tom has never dated anyone over legal drinking age. Hmmm, I'm beginning to wonder what his motives are for being at the house. I do have concerns about some of these guys not being serious about dating an older woman. I love that Colt called Tom out and said maybe you should start with a 25-year-old, not a cougar. Well said. When Colt stood up to Ryan about age being just a number, I was thinking, "Right on! Age is just a number!" And then off goes Ryan's mouth and more bleeped-out words. Ryan should thank his lucky stars that I was oblivious this was all going on at the time. One thing I made clear is that I can't stand blatant arrogance.

If these guys think fighting is going to win me over, they should pack their bags now. After all, I'm not here for the drama; I'm here to find true love.

Message Edited by StaceyTheCougar on 04-16-2009 06:18 AM