High School Reunion Blog

We Are Family - Jenny

Jenny_TheCheer — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 03:44:26 GMT

I have to admit this experience was nothing like I thought it would be. It’s hard to describe but I guess this reunion would be like coming home to your crazy family who you haven’t seen in many years -- you may just get a few surprises that you were not anticipating. We don’t get to choose who they are and may not always like everything about them, but you never desert them. You’re there for them when they need you and you work through the difficult times. That’s what makes you a family and brings you closer together; that’s what happened to us, the Chandler High Class of ‘88. Like it or not, we all share an experience that has bonded us for the rest of our lives.

As far as Jessica and Maricela’s issues go, I hope they both find peace and happiness in who they are and can learn and grow from anything they may have gone through. I am concerned that they may be hurting themselves and that is never OK. I was a bit disappointed in how we treated each other sometimes -- and that includes Jessica. Regardless of what she did it was not OK to make her feel bad, like she didn’t belong. I felt like she didn’t fit in back in high school and after 20 years, nothing had changed. That’s a shame.

I can relate to Jessica in some crazy way because we both share a life-altering, traumatic event. Both of our fathers committed suicide. Not many people know what that does to a person. I was fortunate that I had great friends and somehow found a sense of myself early on… but I struggled back then and occasionally struggle now. The effects never truly go away. If I wouldn’t have had my friends and their wonderful families, I don’t know what would have happened to me or where I would be today.

I enjoyed having Maricela in the house and I think a lot of the other classmates did, too. She was easy-going, positive and a lot of fun! During the early part of the reunion, she was having the time of her life and it’s very unfortunate that it turned into something so bad for her. I wish her nothing but the best and know this experience will only make her stronger. I know she and Scott W. still talk on occasion and will probably remain great friends. Although I don’t agree with prostitution or really the adult industry as a whole, I don’t pass judgment or form an opinion as to the validity of the accusation. It’s not my place -- or anyone’s business for that matter.

Prom was a blast. It was fun getting ready, getting in the limos and having our pictures taken. It felt just like 20 years ago -- except we were allowed to drink this time! I just wish I was a little more aware that the camera was around. Acting ridiculous can be fun but doesn’t look too cool on TV. Thank goodness they did not show me doing the “Running Man” in my dress and heels.

Taylor Dane was an amazing performer. She was better than I remembered and was a great surprise for us all. Liz gave a heart felt Prom Queen acceptance speech and it was good to see her have such a good experience and feel special for the night. We all need a little of that every now and again!

Since the reunion, I’ve had the opportunity to go out with Chad when he has come home to visit; had some great conversations with Scott W. over lunch; Kara and I see each other when we can and will always stay great friends; Tom and I are doing a new business together; Lynette reconnected with a wonderful man at our actual reunion and I had the pleasure of going on a dinner date with them; Tyrone and I have gotten together a couple times and played some poker (he finally beat me… good job, Tyrone, you know how much I hate to lose to you!). While our lives are all so busy and some of us live further away than others, it is my hope we can always remain in each others’ lives and continue to be there for each other. It was nice going back in time for two weeks and reliving some of our old memories -- not many people get the chance to do that. We’ve all moved on but will never forget the chance we had to revisit the innocence of our youth and how much fun that can be.

This final episode was very sentimental to me. As hard as it was at times and as much as I wanted to go home to the people who love me and understand me, I was so sad when it was all over and time to go. Andrew summed it up best at the end. I wish somehow we could teach all our kids that all you really need to do is be yourself. I will always have a special place in my heart for my High School Reunion family!

Message Edited by Jenny_TheCheer on 04-08-2009 11:47 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:14 AM

You Can Go Home Again - Scott

ScottS_TheClown — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 03:02:12 GMT

I was disappointed that our reunion was coming to an end (which is kinda funny, because for many days I wished I'd hopped on the same early flight out as Scott H.) -- especially since it seemed like the drama was all behind us and the bond we were forming was stronger than ever. I think it took some really rough situations to get to that level of comfort, but the closeness that we formed was a direct result of all that we'd been through.

Originally, I envisioned peace and harmony in Kauai: What was I thinking?! Many of the classmates that I've spoken to since the reunion said the biggest mistake they made was having a preconceived notion of what everything was going to be like. I made that mistake, too. There's no way you can predict what a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this is going to bring, especially since 20 different people are bringing 20 different sets of expectations. My own goals were to have a relaxing vacation in paradise and to reconnect with old friends. While the time in Kauai was far from relaxing at times, I never imagined leaving there with so many old friendships reestablished and intact. In the end, the pros of this experience by far outweigh the cons.

Some of my best high school memories were the night before graduation, when the seniors spend the night on the football field, and of course, senior prom. The night on the football field was special because it was the last time that many of the people I considered dear friends would be together in the same place at the same time -- before we all went on to college, careers and families.

The night on the field in Kauai was different; I was able to relive an old memory (and score a touchdown!), but I never felt it was the end of anything or a "goodbye." I savored how lucky we all were to be together at that place in our lives, but this time I knew that I would see many of these people again. You take things like friendship for granted when you're younger, but I won't make that mistake now. The people I got to know -- and love -- at this reunion will be my friends forever.

Just like in high school, I asked a friend to prom. I went with great friends to my junior and senior proms, and this time I asked my close friend Renee. Renee was one of my first and best friends when I moved to Chandler and I'm glad I was able to share this experience with her 20 years later. The prom itself was one of the best times of the trip. I think it was a perfect way for us to celebrate our time together in Kauai and cut loose! When you get to be our age, the opportunities to go out dancing are few and far between, but we felt right at home with some of our favorite '80s music playing.

As I reflect back on our time at his reunion, once again I am proud to be a member of the Chandler High School Class of 1988. I'm proud of what we accomplished on this trip and of who we are:

Liz and Jenny buried the hatchet, and found a new level of respect and friendship for one another.
Heather and Lynette were able to reconnect and put some bad feelings behind them.
Drew got the opportunity to confess his crush on Lynette, and while it might not have had a “happily ever after” feel to it, I think about how much he has grown and changed by being able to do this. In the end, he came to the realization that being himself was the best thing he could do to achieve happiness.
Tom and Kara had the opportunity to decide whether to give their relationship another chance.
Chad got to get back in touch with many of the friends he moved away from 20 years ago.
Shalonda got to experience some of the things she didn't take part in during high school. She also was a model of forgiveness and acceptance.
Dennis got to show all of us that there's another side to him that's so much more likable -- he's kind-hearted and has a great sense of humor.
We got to spend time with Manny and Octavia -- who were both a great part of our high school experience, even though they weren't from the class of '88. Octavia brought positive energy and enthusiasm to the reunion; Manny, with his infinite wisdom, was like a big brother to many of us.
Maricela and Liz both were able to fulfill a life-long dream of being a cheerleader, and Liz was even lucky enough to be voted Prom Queen!
Scott H. never was -- and never will be -- a loner.

I think one great thing about coming to your 20-year reunion is thinking you have life figured out way better than you did in high school. Many of us often ponder what it would be like to go back in time and doing things differently with the knowledge, wisdom and experience of a 37-year-old, rather than a 17-year-old who has so much yet to learn. For many people, high school experiences are some of the best memories they possess; others say they’re the worst.

Why are some people better equipped or further along in the journey of "finding themselves" and realizing who they really are? Is it a stable and supportive home life, friends, faith, or the ability to overcome obstacles in spite of something missing in one (or all) of these support areas? However we get "there"-- to the point where we are comfortable with ourselves and who we are -- it's a great place to be. Some of us were already at this place, while others got further along life's journey by healing old wounds at the reunion.

Personally, I achieved what I came to this reunion for. I'd lost track of Heather and Shalonda for the last 20 years, but now they're two of my closest friends again. I talk or text with them weekly, sometimes even daily. Scott H. is one of my best friends because of this experience, and I'm looking forward to visiting him in Montana this summer.

Liz, my sophomore year party pal, was another person whom I never expected to see again, but am so thankful she's back in my life. I hope to see more Cardinal football games with her. Octavia, who I partied with as a senior, is practically my neighbor, so I fully intend to continue my new friendship with her. Tom, Kara and Renee were all people I kept in touch with before this reunion, but sharing this experience has made us even better friends.

I don't take any of those friendships for granted. I talk to Lynette and Chad occasionally; Dennis, Manny and Jenny are all people I am proud to call friends. Drew and Scott W. are two people who I didn't know well before this experience, but am thankful this experience allowed me to make these new friends.

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:17 AM

Tell It to My Heart - Liz

Liz_TheWannabee — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:45:42 GMT

It’s hard to believe that it is already the last episode of HSR. This has been an incredible journey for me. I have made some life-long friends that I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to get to know if I had not been a part of HSR. Those friendships are the reason I am happy that I did the show.

I have to say that if it weren’t for Scott S., Shalonda, Chad and Heather I think I might have taken the high road with Scott H.! Although we all had our ups and downs during our time in Hawaii, it was a good experience for most of us. It’s definitely something to put on my life resume!

I was able to do so many things that I didn’t get to do in high school. Being a cheerleader for a day was definitely fun, even though I felt so awkward being in that outfit at 39! Hanging out with and getting to know people I never had the chance to know in high school was a highlight for me. I never did the whole sleeping-on-the-football-field thing back in high school so aside from prom, I think I most looked forward to that experience. You can’t even imagine how fun that was for us. It was truly like we were back in high school, playing football out there and just being together.

During that time on the field it was as if none of the drama from the previous days existed. It was surreal! Dennis asking Shalonda to the prom really set the tone for everyone. What I mean is we were able to once again see forgiveness in action and it filled up my heart. It was a surprise to everyone that Dennis would ask Shalonda but when he did we all knew it was the PERFECT choice! I am not even joking when I say I was TOTALLY shocked when Chad asked me to prom. He is such a sweetheart! Asking Jenny to go with us to the prom just seemed right -- after all, Jenny and I had put the past behind us and were getting to know each other. There is one thing I want to share with everyone that you didn’t see in the finale: After Chad asked me to prom we talked about writing a note and having one of the others give it to Jenny. The note read, "Will you go to prom with us?" with two boxes, one that said “Yes” and one that said “No.” We thought it was pretty clever, but I guess not everyone did!

Getting ready for prom at 39 was just as much fun and nerve-racking as I imagined it to be when I was in high school. I couldn’t wait to see how all the guys cleaned up and what the other girls were wearing. Oh, by the way, thanks to Nice & Easy for the hair -- you rock! Everyone looked absolutely beautiful! We felt like superstars walking into the room and posing for our prom pictures.

The whole night took us straight back into the ‘80s, with Taylor Dane singing to us and dancing as a group just like in high school. Good times! Scott S., you win the award for best ‘80s dance moves! One thing I do have to mention: We were all so shiny because it felt like it was about 400 degrees in that room, and when you add dancing to that it makes for a very sweaty evening! I mention this only because when you see our shiny faces and fuzzy hair you will know why. Every girl reading my blog knows what I mean!

Having my classmates choose me as their Prom Queen made me feel so great. I have so much respect for all of them and to have them choose me was such an honor! I truly did not expect it but I have to admit that I DID vote for myself (oops, did I say that out loud?)

I want to end this blog with a message to my friends, housemates, classmates. I thank each and every one of you for being a part of this experience with me. You have all changed my life and I have learned so much from all of you. I feel like everything happens for a reason and I definitely know that we were all brought together to add something to each other’s lives!

Love you guys,

Liz

Message Edited by Liz_TheWannabee on 04-08-2009 10:47 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:33 AM

Betrayal and Beyond - Liz

Liz_TheWannabee — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 02:28:21 GMT

Hypocrite is the word that comes to mind when I see Jessica continuing to attack Maricela. Maricela may not have been forthcoming about her past, but I’m really not sure it matters. None of us came to the reunion to discuss our past aside from high school. Mari said she was an educator so that’s what we believed to be true. Look -- everyone has done things in their past that they’re not proud of, and I’m sure that many of us would be devastated to have our secrets put out there the way that Jessica did to Maricela.

The irony of Jessica saying Maricela threw HER under the bus -- when she was the one revealing a “secret” that could tarnish Maricela’s reputation forever -- was disturbing.

The fact of the matter is that Maricela made an effort to get to know everyone in the house and Jessica did not. My opinion is that Jessica had a preconceived notion of how she would be welcomed when she came to the reunion, and when things didn’t transpire the way she imagined she felt it necessary to attack the one person she could. There often appeared to be a one-sided competition between Maricela and Jessica. While it was clear that Jessica felt like she was in competition with Maricela for the attention of the group -- as well as for Scott W. -- I didn’t see that same sense of competition from Maricela. I’m fairly certain this contributed to the tirade that Jessica unleashed on her.

While the accusations were flying, I don’t think anyone in the house knew who to believe. The only thing we can base our opinion on is their behavior and judging from Maricela’s behavior I have to believe that what Jessica said wasn’t true. Though Maricela never really denies the allegations, she doesn’t confirm them, either. But we have no reason to believe that Maricela has a past as a prostitute.

When Jessica first arrived, she expressed to Maricela that she was at the reunion to spend time with her. She and Maricela both claimed that they were still friends. But friends don’t reveal secrets about each other unless there is some sort of self-serving agenda involved. From the beginning I think that many of the classmates questioned Jessica’s intentions, but we gave her the benefit of the doubt as we did with everyone in the house. The difference is that Maricela, while she may (or may not) have skeletons in her closet, did seem to be a caring person and very much wanted to be a part of the group.

We witnessed firsthand the theatric way that Jessica was able to turn her emotions on and off when necessary. None of us could be inside Jessica’s head and I think her perception wasn’t what we saw of Maricela -- we didn’t see her being judgmental or negative about Jessica. We certainly didn’t feel that the attack on Mari was warranted.

The apology from Jessica was definitely surprising! While I think Jessica knew that it was the right thing to do, she made it very clear that we “didn’t matter” to her. I am glad that she apologized to Maricela -- I think she needed to hear that. Even so, I felt the emotions were much more real from Maricela than Jessica. It was almost as if she was just going through the motions.

The issue isn’t really whether she is or is not a prostitute, but rather the ugly confrontation between two friends and the betrayal of a friend. Scott W.’s reaction to the accusations was to be expected. He had connected most with Mari. Anyone in the same situation, faced with that news, would need to take a step back to evaluate things. I don’t think it really mattered that much to Scott, though. He knew Maricela as she is now, not who she may or may not have been in the past.

It has to be awkward for Tom and Kara to be putting their relationship out there in front of everyone. All of us really like the two of them, and care about them. They are two great people -- but can they be great together? It seems like they've taken turns pushing and pulling each other closer and away throughout the course of the reunion. But maybe with the air cleared now, they can get down to deciding if there's still hope for a future.

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:37 AM

Bad Blood: Bring It On - Scott

ScottS_TheClown — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:05:33 GMT

I was so excited to see Octavia arrive and could tell by the entrance she made that we were in for some fun! I was good friends with her most of my senior year (we hung out and partied a bit), but seeing her pop out of the car was an unexpected and pleasant surprise.

The night before, another close friend of mine, Renee, had arrived at the house. Renee and I were great friends all throughout high school. I had no idea that these two arrivals were connected or that there was a past between Renee and Octavia, but having the two of them in the house was sure to be a huge pick-me-up from the rough few days we’d had earlier.

Apparently, Renee and Octavia had a "friendly" rivalry in high school. I think they were definitely pals, but often wanted the same thing. They competed in cheerleading and over boys, each chalking up victories. The idea of a "cheer-off" was a fun way for the two to settle things once and for all. Being in the middle of this drama wasn’t something any of us minded, because we all could sense that there really wasn’t any bad blood or hatred between the two of them. We knew the competition would be harmless and fun (unlike some of the other drama we would soon find ourselves smack dab in the middle of).

It was interesting for me to see the way teams were divided: Renee picked former Chandler cheerleaders Kara and Jenny, along with Maricela (who had said that it had always been a dream of hers to participate in cheer) and Liz (who at one time felt excluded by the cheerleaders). I don’t think that every high-school girl necessarily wants to be a cheerleader, but I do think everyone wants to be part of something that makes them feel like they belong. Cheerleading provides that tight-knit feeling, and I think sometimes girls feel like they’re on the outside looking in. It was really neat, even it was for just one day, that Liz and Maricela got to be part of something they maybe missed out on in high school.

Octavia chose Heather and Shalonda (who both cheered together in junior high, but not in high school), Lynette (whom she knew from dance, but didn’t cheer) and Jessica (whom she didn’t know at all). Jessica’s body language while Octavia and Renee picked teams was consistent with her words that followed: She wasn’t interested in being part of the cheer-off. A few of us tried to persuade her to be part of the event, but we were unsuccessful.

Scott W. and I came outside to tell the girls that they would be a person short, and as we were relaying the news, I could see Octavia’s wheels turning. I KNEW she was going to ask me to join “the squad” and found myself wishing that Scott would have brought the news to them himself. I had fun in high school goofing around and being silly when we dressed up as cheerleaders, but I think I’m a little more reserved now that I’m older (and knowing that my goofiness is going to be seen on TV by everyone I know!). Acting silly isn’t something that I can do on cue.

And most of all, I didn’t want to *&^%$# up or lose it for the team. Fifteen guys acting crazy in cheerleader costumes for a laugh is one thing -- actually being coordinated and choreographed is completely different. (Side note: After 14 years of teaching and school dances, I still can’t do the Electric Slide). As reluctant as I was, I wasn’t going to say no to Octavia (or Shalonda and Heather, who cheered for my junior high football team). Fortunately, Octavia and the girls were filled with great ideas and kept my part fairly simple.

I felt like many of us made an effort over the first week of the reunion trying to make Jessica feel included and part of the group, but my perception was that she wasn’t interested in forming new friendships. I imagine that it must have been harder for her than anyone, knowing so few people, but I didn’t really see her making the effort to get to know many of us up to this point. She mentioned repeatedly about wanting to be there to reconnect with Maricela and it seemed that she felt neglected by her.

I respected Jessica’s decision not to participate at the time, but to hear her put the other girls down and criticize them was unkind and uncalled for. I wonder if her dislike for the cheer-off was really about her building resentment towards Maricela. Seeing her have such a great time being part of this, accepted by the group and fulfilling a dream of being a cheerleader was adding more fuel to what appeared to be more of a rivalry than a friendship to me.

My perception -- and I could be totally wrong here -- was that something wasn’t quite right between Maricela and Jessica from the get-go. They might have been best friends back in high school, but to me it didn’t seem like they acted like that now. A lot can happen over the course of 20 years: People change and grow apart. Jessica seemed jealous of the attention Maricela was receiving, especially since she felt that she was being fake to get that attention. A true friend also doesn’t threaten to spill a secret like the one Jessica accused Maricela of keeping. It wasn’t just that she shared it; it’s that she repeatedly threatened to share it.

Once "the secret" was out, accusations came flying from both sides attacking each other’s character. I don’t know and am not sure I really care who’s telling the truth; the incident between the two of them is sad and something that I’m not proud to be around or associated with. I feel like it reflects poorly on the class of ‘88 and Chandler High School. I feel like Maricela did her best to avoid this confrontation with Jessica, but to be fair to Jessica, if what she’s saying is true, I can see how she might feel betrayed.

All we can do is try to decipher this situation based on what we’ve seen and know of these two people over the course of the week in Kauai. Have Maricela’s behavior and actions resembled what she’s been accused of? Have Jessica’s actions and words caused me to believe what Maricela has said about her is true? Regardless, if Jessica had issues like this and resentment toward Maricela that had been building for whatever reason, I wish she should have resolved it privately after the reunion -- instead of putting us all in the middle of their mess.

Unfortunately, when you’re sharing a house with 17 other people, it’s really hard to hide your drama and solve your issues privately.

Message Edited by ScottS_TheClown on 03-25-2009 10:07 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:39 AM

Camping with the Enemy - Liz

Liz_TheWannabee — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 02:03:16 GMT

For me, this week’s episode was all about Jenny and me. That may sound selfish, but I don’t mean it to. I was just so happy to have the drama between Jenny and me come to end. I know what everyone was thinking when I got my Detention -- and I should have known that it was with Jenny. But usually you get a Detention with someone that is not already in the house so of course when I saw it on my bed, my heart sank just thinking that there may be someone that I hurt in high school, someone who wanted to confront me. This episode was the first time that I was not in the house and it was hilarious seeing my friends talk about me coming back "alive!"

The drive to the beach was the longest ride of my life. I had so many things going through my mind, wondering if it was Jenny that I was going to see or if in fact it was someone from high school whom I had "wronged." In a strange way, I was relieved to see Jenny when I got to the beach. I remember feeling a little awkward standing there thinking, "What do I say?" and realizing that our ride was leaving us there TOGETHER!

OK, so let’s start with the tent. WOW. I thought I was a pretty good camper, but wrestling with that tent was frustrating -- Jenny and I struggled with it for about an hour. Then the fire, hmm, yeah not so much! We had to gather STICKS and try to get it started. I also have to give Jenny props for gutting that fish, because I wasn’t having anything to do with it since we didn’t have a way to shower or wash up… except in the ocean. But Jenny jumped right in and got it done. And it actually turned out pretty good!

Detention is usually viewed as a bad thing, but I think it was truly one of the best experiences I had in Kauai. I was able to get to know Jenny as the person she is now -- and let go of my feelings about her from high school. We spent most of the night just talking about our lives. There was so much that I didn’t know about her life outside of school. I was able to get a lot of insight into why Jenny was who she was back at Chandler. I’d made many judgments about her then, and I feel like by doing that I lost out on a possible friendship with her.

Not only did I learn about Jenny's childhood, but it turns out that she and I have a lot in common. We have had very similar experiences in the past 20 years. I regret not confronting her in high school, but I know that everything happens for a reason. The fact that we were forced to spend time together was a blessing in disguise: We got to really share conversations and laughter.

This experience has made me a much stronger person and helped me realize that you can’t always judge a person on the surface, and for that I am so grateful.

Unfortunately, you didn’t get to see the funniest part of our encounter on the beach. That would have to be the morning after... we didn’t have a change of clothes or any of the things girls need before turning in at night. When both of us came out of the tent the next morning, we couldn’t stop laughing! We both looked a mess.

I think everyone at the house was just as happy as we were that we’d worked everything out. It was at that point I realized how uncomfortable it must have been for them with the tension between Jenny and me. I left Hawaii a better person because of my Detention. I learned so much from her -- and a lot about myself at the same time. I felt optimistic that we’d be friends for the next 20 years.

Changing gears, I was able to get to know Maricela while we were in Hawaii and I do know that she had a lot of regrets from high school. She knew what Jessica said made sense, but in her heart she wanted to spend time with Scott W. While I know she really enjoyed Chad’s company, her heart wasn’t in it from the moment she left the house with him. One thing you have to know is that Chad is the most "meat and potatoes" person I have ever met, so to see him struggle to get the sushi down was classic! He still looked a little green when they arrived back at the house. If I remember correctly, he had a steak when he got back! I’m pretty sure that he won’t be going to any sushi bars back home.

It was great to see Andrew come out of his shell (well, maybe not all of him!). When he arrived and I realized he was bunking with Manny and Dennis, I was a little scared for him. But they really took him under their wing and helped boost his confidence -- just what he needed. I was touched by his sincere feelings for Lynette after all this time. He was extremely brave to come to Hawaii and confess his feelings in front of all of us. Especially since he didn’t know everyone! I’m not convinced that Manny and Dennis have that much "game," but it was nice of them try to show Drew some moves. Manny, you’re not a player anymore!

Hearing the word "friend" come out of Lynette’s mouth was a tough one for Drew. When he came back to the house, it was obvious that he was disappointed. But in his usual crazy way he showed us that he was movin’ on. YOU GO, DREW!

Renee, I just want to say that you look EXACTLY the same as high school. I am so jealous!

I feel like the drama for me is over......or is it?

Message Edited by Liz_TheWannabee on 03-18-2009 10:07 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:42 AM

New Beginnings - Jenny

Jenny_TheCheer — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 01:55:41 GMT

Where do I start? The previous conversation with Liz didn’t go well. It was a very long conversation -- and you only got to see a couple minutes of it. I felt terrible that something I said had hurt Liz. I said I never had bad feelings toward her and I would have never wanted her to feel bad. I said I was so sorry that something I did was so hurtful and that it was never my intention to hurt her. I wasn’t making excuses -- I was only trying to explain how I felt.

In hindsight I think it would have been better if I’d just said I’m sorry and didn’t say another word. Liz said I couldn’t do anything to fix it or make the situation better, which pretty much summed up exactly how I felt. She said I was still a bitch. I’m not sure what I did to deserve that, but I really felt no matter what I did she had her mind made up before I got to the house.

I can understand why Scott H. wanted to go home. I too wanted to go home that same night. It’s hard to describe, but some days were so hard to be in that space. It was sometimes hard to understand why we chose to be there in the first place. The incident Liz was speaking about was in the seventh grade and since I was only 12, I don’t even remember being at that particular slumber party.

When I said that Liz didn’t get my humor I was referring to the “fat *&^%$#” comment. But before the daggers start flying, let me explain what I mean. Liz was very tall and thin in junior high and high school. I CAN totally see me calling her a “fat *&^%$#” as a sarcastic exaggeration of the opposite. For example, if we were all sitting around talking about how fat we were (like we did back then – ridiculous, I know) I could see me saying, “Yeah, ‘cause you’re a real fat *&^%$#.” I can see NOW that wasn’t the right thing to say to Liz, but I didn’t realize it at the time. No one deserves to be treated badly and it definitely upset me that my words or actions caused someone pain.

On to the overnight [Detention with Liz]: I thought it was SO funny! My grandma would have been proud, because she taught me how to fish, hunt and camp. I really did gut a fish with a dull butcher knife. We really cooked that little fish on a fry pan that we had balancing on the fire that Liz started -- and it was actually pretty good. The tent situation was like a scene out of an old Abbott & Costello show; we were trying to put it together for what must have been hours, and when we almost had it complete we found the instructions.

We were left alone on the beach all night. We didn’t fit in the tiny one-man tents: Our heads stuck out the top and when it rained, we had to zip ourselves in and when it stopped, we unzipped so we could stretch back out. The most ironic part was the pain we both felt after sleeping on the beach without a pillow -- and only when we woke up at the crack of dawn and rolled over did we discover what appeared to be a blow-up pillow tucked in the sleeping bag. That was priceless.

We had some good conversations on the beach that night, and were finally able to move beyond the hurt and put our issues to rest.

I really enjoyed how Dennis and Manny took in Andrew and made him their little buddy. It was all in good fun and I think something about the friendship gave him a little pep in his step. I enjoyed seeing the transformation, although I was glad I wasn’t at the pool to witness the entire transformation -- if you know what I mean! I thought Lynette handled the situation with compassion and grace; I loved how she was direct but also kind. I did like the new added confidence and sense of style -- way to go, Andrew! I hear that he’s in a happy relationship today and wish him all the luck!

Last but not least, I was so excited to have Renee come to the house. Although I didn’t know her well in high school, I knew who she was and always thought she was a smart, cute and very nice girl. I was excited for new energy in the house and knew she was someone I could have fun with. Thanks, Renee, I really appreciated having you in the house as my other awesome roommate!

Message Edited by Jenny_TheCheer on 03-18-2009 10:00 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:44 AM

The Fallout Shelter - Scott

ScottS_TheClown — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:45:43 GMT

There's a reason why "Hindsight is 20/20" is a popular cliché. Everything looks much clearer when you have time to look back and analyze a difficult situation, thinking about it rationally rather than emotionally. In the case of deciding whether or not Dennis should leave the reunion house, I don't think my initial opinion that he should go would have been different, but I do know that my actions and reactions to the other members of the house (and their differing opinions) would have been different. I do believe that if Dennis would have woke up the next morning and simply apologized, few of us would have felt his apology was sincere. Although the following day was a grueling and upsetting process, I think it was necessary for us to get to the point where there was a successful resolution.

There is no defending Dennis' actions and behavior from the night before, and when Dennis began to apologize, it seems like he was going to chalk it up to having too much to drink. When Shalonda stops him to say he needs to own his actions, I believe what followed in that moment was a sincere, genuine apology. Dennis said that he was sorry, admitted saying some things that were really inappropriate, and that he hoped she could forgive him. I don't believe Shalonda wanted Dennis to stay until the moment those words came out of Dennis' mouth and that she could judge in that moment that he was sincerely sorry. And when Shalonda decided to accept his apology, I think many of the people (including myself) decided to follow her lead.

I was most upset about the way he treated Shalonda, Heather and Liz – and to see all three of them accept his apology and forgive his behavior made me willing to give him a second chance, too. Shalonda said that he deserved the opportunity to be better, and by staying at the house, Dennis could now show the rest of us the person that Manny, Scott W., Jenny and Tyrone know deep down.

The conflicting part for me was to have one of my closest friends at the house, Scott H., follow the groups' decision to have Dennis stay. He was embarrassed to be a part of and associated with this situation. It wasn't because Dennis was staying that Scott wanted to leave -- at this point, I think he had already made his decision (actually, I think a few of us wanted to leave, not so much because of Dennis, but because it was an emotionally draining situation and not what you'd call a peaceful vacation!). Scott stuck to his morals and what was right for him. I know he respected everyone's opinion and stance on the situation, whether he agreed with them or not. He was one of the most respected people at the reunion, and his departure for me was the low point of my time in Kauai.

I think there's another cliché that goes something like, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Scott H. stood for what he believed in, as did many of us.

Side note: Scott H. and Dennis are friends now and had the chance to catch up when Scott came to town to watch the first episode of the show last month. Additionally, I have been to Montana to visit Scott twice: Once with my daughters for a vacation at the dude ranch he was working at, and again in October with my girlfriend for Scott and Josie's wedding reception!

As draining as the "Dennis drama" and Scott H. leaving the reunion was, I was thankful to have that incident behind us. I think our hopes and thoughts turned to the future of the reunion and the imperative need to have some fun! Thanks to Drew ( “The Band Geek” ) showing up, some lighter moments were on the way.

The “Secret Admirer” notes and gifts Lynette had been receiving had us all wondering and guessing who it might be. We had fun throwing out names and teasing Lynette about who could still have feelings for her 20 years later. The night before Drew arrived, Lynette was soaking in the Jacuzzi while describing the type of guy she's into. I don't think the type of guy she described has a lot in common with Drew, but you can tell she was flattered (albeit a little freaked out) that he'd come all the way to Kauai to express his feelings for her.

Before Drew's Hall Pass with Lynette, Dennis handicapped Drew's chances with her at "zero to no chance." In between the awkward silences after their massage, Drew shared a few of his past dating mishaps. You could tell from the look on Lynette's face that she was more than surprised at some the topic of conversation. I'm sure he was nervous, but you gotta give it to Drew for being courageous, honest and just being himself. Hopefully he'll get another chance with Lynette where the "first date" pressure is gone.

As for Drew's new roommates -- you can tell he's in for an adventure there. I think Dennis and Manny are a little more wild and crazy than the type of people Drew's used to hanging out with, but then maybe hanging out with these guys will help him relax a bit.

The HSR house is back to having a little bit of fun for the time being. But I can guarantee you, there's even bigger drama to come. Hopefully next time I can view it as a spectator on the sidelines rather than finding myself smack in the middle of it!

Message Edited by ScottS_TheClown on 03-11-2009 10:50 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:45 AM

All Apologies? - Liz

Liz_TheWannabee — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:40:01 GMT

Whew. The emotions of this day of the reunion still seem very raw for me. I truly didn’t know what to think when I got up the morning after Dennis' attack on Shalonda, Heather, Scott S. and myself. The emotions that you see are real; it was a tough day. We were talking about the situation because most of us were unsure of how to handle it. Personally, I have never been in that type of volatile situation and didn’t know what to do. I was angry that Dennis hurt Shalonda, Scott S. and Heather more than I was angry at him for throwing obscenities at me.

Tyrone accusing us of talking behind Dennis' back was completely off the mark. We were simply discussing the events of the evening and contemplating what course of action we should take as a group. It was definitely what we needed to do. Dennis was not even in the house for any of us to talk to him. And when Dennis did arrive back with Scott W., I don’t think any of us even knew where to start! It was a hard decision for all of us who were voting for Dennis to go home.

Look, I understand that people make mistakes, and at least half of the group had no previous interaction with Dennis, so we had no history to go by. But the thought of allowing him to stay and risk another outburst was not something I was prepared to deal with. My feelings changed about Dennis when I heard his apology. It was so heartfelt and honest (not at all what I expected). It was at that point that I felt the entire group have a change of heart. To see my friend Shalonda forgive him was inspiring to me. How could I NOT forgive Dennis when Shalonda took the brunt of his attack and was able to forgive him? I was not only inspired by her act of forgiveness but changed by it.

We were all affected so much by the drama with Dennis. Behind the scenes Shalonda, Scott S. and I were trying to talk Scott H. into staying. I have to admit that it was very hard to hear Scott H. say he was embarrassed by the situation. He was just taking a stand and I respected that, but I was so terribly sad to see him leave. I wanted to get to know him even more and I knew that I was going to miss him! Scott is such a great person and I know it was difficult for him to leave because he was forging some great friendships.

OK, so I know I said this before, but Lynette was not a snob! OMG! The way she handled the situation with Drew was so classy. Let’s face it, when you envision a "secret admirer," that vision doesn’t typically include someone like Drew. I’m not saying that to be mean, but when the options are going through your mind it’s more like Brad Pitt -- or as Manny so appropriately suggested, Justin Timberlake. That said, Lynette was extremely gracious to Drew. I know she came to the reunion to possibly explore a connection with someone so I think she was little disappointed, but she didn’t let it show. How flattering to have been admired for 20 years!

Jenny, Jenny Jenny. Hmmmm, where should I begin… the tension between Jenny and me just seemed to increase every day we were in the house. It felt so much like high school, with me talking to my friends about it and Jenny talking to her friends about it. I think part of my hesitation in confronting her was that I honestly didn’t know how to address what she did to me in high school. All of the bad feelings I had about Jenny were based on that past experience -- and I didn’t know who she is now so I was unsure of how she would react. She just didn’t acknowledge the way that she treated me and how that affected my high school experience. For me, that was the most frustrating part. If someone at the reunion felt I was mean to them or treated them badly back then I would have at least acknowledged their feelings -- even if I didn’t "remember."

Scott S., Shalonda and Chad were my sounding boards at the reunion. So of course I confided in them that I didn’t feel like Jenny was sorry for the way she treated me throughout high school. They understood. My feeling was that Jenny was just making excuses, so when she did apologize it just didn’t sound like it came from the heart. And that may just be the way Jenny apologizes, but to me it seemed forced.

What you don’t see on screen is Jenny and I talking about my daughter being a cheerleader and that I have taught her to treat everyone the way she herself wants to be treated. I instill that in her because of the way Jenny treated me in high school -- I would never want someone to feel like they were not welcomed or accepted. It was very emotional for me to sit down and talk to Jenny (in addition to the anger you see). I wanted her to understand that it DID affect my self-esteem back then -- but I just didn’t feel like it was getting through to her the way I wanted it to.

Believe me when I say that I DID NOT carry this around with me for 20 years. I have moved on, but in a strange way it did feel good to tell Jenny how she made me feel. It’s difficult to feel resolution when you don’t feel the other party truly understands or acknowledges your feelings. My hope after my heated conversation with Jenny was that during the rest of the time in the house we could eventually be on the same page.

I have to say that I was so glad the drama with Dennis was over -- but then there’s the drama with Jenny! Drama, Drama, Drama!

Message Edited by Liz_TheWannabee on 03-11-2009 10:44 PM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 03-12-2009 03:34 AM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:49 AM

The House That Hurt Built - Scott

ScottS_TheClown — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:04:02 GMT

I was proud of how most of my classmates handled the insulting behavior from Dennis earlier in the night. I felt like most of us did the "adult" thing and ignored his words, but in some instances, it seemed like if he wasn't getting the rise/effect he wanted, he dug in deeper. I think Shalonda, like many of us, felt like if this is the way it's going to be from here on out and nobody is going to take a stand, then she'd rather leave. In my mind, there's only one person at this point who should leave, and that's the person who's responsible for causing this disaster.

Tom, Liz and I pulled Shalonda aside to calm her down and keep her from making a decision while she was upset. Jenny interrupted our conversation in my room to offer how Dennis' past might explain his current behavior. While I believe her heart might have been in the right place, her timing and choice of words were not. I don't believe there's any excuse for acting and behaving the way Dennis did. Not being drunk. Not a rough upbringing. Not personal tragedy. Not ignorance. Nothing.

So as we were trying to persuade Shalonda to stay and deal with her feelings, the last thing we wanted to hear was an excuse for inexcusable behavior. I regret that my frustrations towards Dennis' attack on Shalonda carried over to Jenny, but at the time the last thing any of us in that room needed was justifications and excuses for his appalling behavior.

My anger and frustration towards Dennis had very little to do with what he said to me personally, but more with how he treated and spoke to Shalonda and some of the other girls. I know Dennis doesn't really think I'm gay (dorky maybe -- but he used a terrible choice of words to express it), and contrary to what Tyrone said, I’ve never had a problem with Dennis in the past. I'm surprised none of the people who claimed to have a history and friendship with Dennis pulled him aside and tried to put a stop to his behavior. Does a person have to be personally attacked to find the behavior offensive and wrong? If a friend of mine were acting like that toward other people, would I stand idly by and laugh? Can you be loyal to a friend, but still know right from wrong? If Dennis were my friend, I would’ve done everything humanly possible to save him the embarrassment he was causing himself, rather than waiting until the next day to defend him.

I wish I could say that for most of us, Dennis' behavior upon his arrival was the low point of the reunion, but unfortunately the next day wasn't much better, either. The aftermath of trying to decide how to deal with this situation was just as difficult and damaging to our group as his words and actions the night before. There were people in the house who were hurt and offended by Dennis' behavior, or were offended by seeing people they care about treated poorly. There were probably some people there who weren't all that bothered by it. And then I'm sure there were some who found themselves stuck in the middle: They care about Dennis, but see the impact his behavior has made.

If Dennis' actions the night before have it so that some people aren't comfortable being at the reunion, then it seemed like a logical decision to discuss whether Dennis should stay or go. Of course, no matter what our thoughts and feelings were, the main person we'd need to hear from before making a final decision would be Dennis himself. How would he behave and act the next day? Would he be apologetic? Is there anything he could say to undo the hurt he caused?

Dennis woke up the next morning not remembering much of what happened and things were definitely awkward and tense. Thankfully, Scott W. used his hall pass to take Dennis out of the house to go spear fishing. I think that's what we needed for the day. I also believe that talking to a friend like Scott W. who has a history with Dennis, but a respect and friendship with the group, is exactly what Dennis needed to make him aware of how his words hurt and affected the house.

I was one of the bigger proponents of Dennis leaving. I saw the hurt he caused Shalonda, and knew she was considering leaving. I became aware that he made sexist and derogatory comments to Heather and Liz (as well as what he said to Jenny and Maricela -- whether it bothered them or not), and felt if they weren't going to be comfortable, then he needed to leave. According to Manny, this wasn't the first time he's seen Dennis in this state. Some of his other friends said, "That's just Dennis being Dennis." Knowing these things didn't leave me confident that it couldn't happen again. At that point, I'd rather err on the side of protecting my friends from being offended again than giving Dennis a second chance.

Tyrone mentions that with Dennis, the good outweighs the bad. I believe that he knows that side of Dennis, the way Scott W. and Jenny do. Chad knows that side, too, but he still can see that if Dennis' behavior has offended a majority of the group, then he needs to leave (regardless of his personal feelings and past with Dennis). At one point, though, Tyrone told me that "No one has the right to tell somebody else how to live their personal life." I disagree. I think that if someone's behavior crosses the line and offends and hurts others, we all have a responsibility to tell them that what they’re doing is unacceptable and that we won't tolerate it.

Heather gathered us in the living room so we could discuss where we stood and maybe work towards a resolution. Shalonda suggested that everyone should have a turn to share how they felt if they wanted; Tyrone said that doing that made us just as bad as Dennis going around insulting everyone the night before. I thought he was way off base in this comparison. To suggest that sharing how we felt about his behavior and whether or not we felt he should stay is the same as Dennis' sexist and offensive behavior missed the mark. Tyrone accused me of being too emotionally involved and Shalonda as being defensive, but after watching again, it's obvious he was just as emotionally involved as anyone.

I agree with Jenny when she said that if Dennis went home, there would be no resolution. But do we ignore the feelings and rights of other innocent people to give Dennis a chance to redeem himself? Is forgiveness even possible in a situation like this? I guess to answer those questions, we'll need to hear from Dennis himself. So Dennis, what do you have to say?

Message Edited by ScottS_TheClown on 03-04-2009 10:04 PM

Message Edited by ScottS_TheClown on 03-05-2009 10:02 AM

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-10-2009 11:50 AM

The Great Debate

Jenny_TheCheer — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 03:01:58 GMT

All feelings are OK, but not all behavior is. Episode 3 of High School Reunion was hard for me to watch and brought back a lot of painful memories. All the feelings and emotions came rushing back like I was right back in the house. It was very uncomfortable to say the least. I think it would have helped the entire house if all the issues could’ve been addressed quickly -- without involving the other classmates, without assumptions, judgments of character, intent and motivation.

I was starting to hear rumors about Liz not liking me and wasn’t sure why she hadn’t pulled me aside to talk about it. It was so uncomfortable and I was confused because I started to hear bits about what Liz was saying to people. Some classmates told me that the issues with Liz weren’t that big of a deal. I was concerned and wanted to apologize so that I could clear up any misunderstandings -- because in reality I never had any ill will toward Liz.

During my detention [with Scott W. in the premiere], my past was very much something that I had come to grips with, dealt with and was beyond. It was very emotional and difficult to bring up and go through that drama again, but it was clearly behind me. There was no more anger or resentment. This issue with Liz seemed to be a present-day problem with a lot of anger -- so much anger. I thought that I would go to Liz when we got home from the beach and see if we could talk and work things out. But when we got back, plans changed.

I was happy to see Manny; he was like an older brother to me. He’s friends with my brother and sister, and dated my best friend’s sister growing up. Manny has a great sense of humor and can be very sweet. When we saw the line of swimsuits and bras hanging outside the house, some people were upset. I was just trying to go with the flow because I didn’t exactly know what I signed up for and was just trying to enjoy the ride as best as I could.

It’s tough when you are sharing a house with grown adults. With kids you can set the rules, and with guests in your home you can do the same. But you can’t really tell adults what to do when you’re in a neutral home -- I tried and they don’t listen! All of a sudden I was very jealous of Kara, who was on her date with Scott H. I didn’t care that I was married with five children; I would have given anything to be on that date and not in the house with all the tension. Tom was a calm rock in the storm and very helpful during the chaos.

Communication is so difficult sometimes, and I will be the first to say that I am definitely not the best at it. I do know that communication works a lot better if you listen to what someone is saying. I wish I would’ve addressed Shalonda’s feelings before I tried to explain anything about Dennis, because I did care. I loved the way Scott W. spoke about it -- I am trying to learn from him because he has the ability to say what I feel. I was glad to see that he was such a loyal friend, the type of friend who doesn’t turn on you when everyone else does, the type who stands by your side -- even when you make a mistake.

What I was trying to say and did say was that Dennis had some issues -- and what Dennis said was about Dennis, not about Shalonda. I definitely think that Dennis had an obligation to speak. I think the people he offended deserved a chance to tell him how he made them feel and possibly get an apology. This is where we learn to change our behavior, and even if there was a slight chance Dennis could learn something, that would be a good thing for everyone. I didn’t think making a decision without hearing from Dennis himself was a good one. I didn’t like sitting around all day saying negative things and seeing the worst in people.

Luckily, Shalonda is a very understanding person. We had some really heartfelt conversations, and she understood me and saw that I was coming from a good place. What I would like to say to Shalonda today is I am so sorry. What Dennis said to you must have felt really bad for you because I could see the hurt in your face, and I can’t even understand how you must have felt.

The way she handled the situation with grace, while keeping an open mind despite coming from a place of hurt and anger, is something we should all strive to do. These are life skills that will get you through the rough times. If you fight hurt with anger and violence, no one learns or wins.

I understand now that the emotions and the energy in the house were so high, and that a lot of people had their feelings hurt. Classmates were reacting in a state of hurt and anger. I don’t think I have been yelled at or called names that much in my life -- it was strange that as an adult I was being talked to in this way. It was a unique, rare situation and not all of us handled things the way we may have wished. If we could go back I’m sure there are more than a few of us who would do and say things differently. But everyone deserves a chance to say they’re sorry, to forgive and be forgiven. It is all a waste if we don’t learn something at the end of the day.

Don’t be hateful! Don’t judge! It’s ugly.

Reaching a Boiling Point

ScottS_TheClown — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:15:05 GMT

Wow. Where do I start? I doubt if any of you will remember or concentrate much on what happened before Dennis and Manny arrived, which is unfortunate. As I write this, it’s hard for me to focus on anything that happened before their arrival, because all I can think about is, “How on earth am I going to describe this disaster?”

My goal and hope in writing this blog is to fill you in on my insight and personal behind-the-scenes vantage point so you can better understand what was going on and feel like you were there with us. After seeing Dennis’ behavior and impact on the house, I bet most will be thankful that you weren’t. So bear with me as I describe what day two and three were like for the Class of ’88; I think that it will put Dennis’ offensive and destructive behavior in a different perspective.

I laughed out loud watching Maricela’s Hall Pass with the guys. I had a feeling that with his past skateboarding experience, Scott W. would do the best, but was impressed with Chad’s skills, too. Tom’s wipeout didn’t look as bad as it actually was. I talked with him shortly after. He was a little embarrassed, more than anything. Anyway, Scott W and Maricela seem to have made a connection. She mentions that this was an experience she didn’t get to have in high school (meet someone new and date). I’ll be interested to see where that leads.

Heather was summoned to the first detention of her entire life -- to everyone’s surprise. Her best friend from high school, Lynette, came to Kauai to seek answers to why Heather ended their friendship in a letter 20 years earlier. Poor Heather was crying before Lynette even spoke a word. That tells me that this is something that has bothered her, too, over the last 20 years. Heather was very apologetic and Lynette was equally forgiving. I felt that the two of them did a great job sharing their feelings about what happened back then, but more importantly, deciding to focus on the future rather than dwell on the past.

When they retuned from their detention, the entire house loaded up for an outing to the beach. For me, this was the best experience of our time in Kauai. I think the stress and anxiety of this reunion was weighing on a lot of us. Added to that was settling into a house with 14 different personalities (some of them quite strong and some of whom don’t necessarily get along). The beach trip was an opportunity for us to cut loose, relax, get to know each other a little bit and bond. I really feel like that happened that day -- an environment of trust, friendship and mutual respect was established. I think it’s important that you know this, because I think for many of us it describes our feelings as we plummet from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows later that night. It’s not just that Dennis’ behavior that follows is offensive and objectionable (which it absolutely is); it’s that it occurs after this great bonding experience where many of us had lowered our guards and begun to relax.

As Dennis and Manny tour the house, they look at our pictures and comment on them. For many of the girls, they use their rating system (Way Decent, Decent, Fair, etc). I’m not going to fault them for having their opinions on girls and sharing them with each other. Some people might view this as being sexist, but what they do in their own company is up to them (of course, they’re not in their own company -- they are on camera, which makes everything different!). When Dennis looks at my high-school picture and stereotypes me as “weird” or “goofy” because I loved my experience, dressed up as a cheerleader a few times for laughs and had school spirit, well, he’s entitled to his opinion. I’m not offended or threatened by Dennis calling me those names. I consider the source and look at the fact that he’s being offensive to most of the people there, so I don’t take it personally. But when he picks up Shalonda’s picture and calls her names, that’s a different story. At that point, his best friend Manny has the sense to warn/advise him. It would appear to me though that by this point, Dennis is past the point of taking advice and heeding common sense.

My first thought as we returned to the house was that there must have been a flood or a water leak or something. As we walked closer, it was obvious that someone was pranking us. We walked to the backyard and saw Manny and Dennis playing beer pong; shortly after the insults started and the night began to unravel. My initial reaction to seeing Dennis and Manny was mixed: I had a class with Manny when I was a sophomore and actually thought he was a pretty good guy. I remember Dennis as being a bit of a troublemaker, but never had trouble with him personally and hadn’t thought about him in the last 20 years.

Nevertheless, it was obvious to me that they’d both been drinking and that their behavior was obnoxious, so I made a conscious decision to keep my distance. I’m not scared or intimidated by either of them, but they weren’t people that I hung out with 20 years ago, so why would I now? As a teacher and a parent, the last thing I would want to do was put myself into a combustible situation that might blow up. In high school, if guys came in acting like this, you’d either ask them to leave or make the decision to leave yourself. At this reunion, that didn’t appear to be an option. So I watched from a distance and observed how the dynamic of the house had changed for the worse, and wondered if it was damaged for good.

When I felt the dust had settled a bit, I rejoined the group to eat. At this point Dennis returned and started in on me about how he felt about my school spirit. Dennis used labels like “gay” to describe what he thought of me in high school. I want to make it absolutely clear: I do not care one bit what Dennis thinks of me. It was obvious that he was drunk, not thinking clearly and slurring his speech. He had offended many of my classmates already, so it’s not like I felt singled out. As a heterosexual person, I still find his choice of homophobic words very offensive. At the moment I didn’t see it as a personal attack, but as an example of Dennis’ ignorance and lack of common sense using words and language that most people in society find offensive.

I think the boiling point of the night occurred when Dennis repeatedly used a racial slur to describe Shalonda’s picture from high school. Shalonda handles herself with an incredible amount of class and dignity throughout the conversation, but it’s not possible to speak logic to someone who’s in Dennis’ state of mind.

Episode 2 leaves us smack-dab in the middle of this drama, so that’s where I’ll leave it, too. Until next week.

Forgiveness: A Necessary Evil?

Liz_TheWannabee — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:12:50 GMT

After Tom and Jessica’s “Hall Pass” date, I think Kara was a little uncomfortable talking to Jessica about it. I do believe that Jessica was sincere when she was expressing her thoughts [about Tom] to Kara, though. It’s obvious that Kara and Tom do still have a connection.

When Maricela got the Hall Pass, I think that Tyrone was disappointed that he wasn’t chosen. I think it was more because he may have wanted to just get out of the house. When the guys went on the Hall Pass with Maricela, we were all sitting around the house wishing we were them! While the scene with Tom drowning looked very real, we knew when Tom came back that he was just embarrassed and that it was as dramatic as it appeared.

Scott W. and Maricela did have a connection from the time we got to the house and so I’m not at all surprised that she chose him for the date. Our conversation in the hot tub -- when Jessica confesses who she’s interested in -- kinda threw us all for a loop. When Jessica found out that Maricela had chosen Scott W., she was disappointed and it showed. Their conversation at dinner seemed so natural and comfortable. Scott W. is just such a genuine guy and so sweet. I think Maricela needed someone like him, because back in high school her boyfriend didn’t treat her with respect and controlled her life. It was refreshing to see them laughing and having a good time.

When Heather got a detention, I thought it was a joke! She is the sweetest, most caring person I have ever met and I was stunned to find out that someone had an issue with her. I knew Lynette in high school but I did not know that she and Heather were best friends. Heather was so shocked -- the emotions were real for her. I was surprised that Lynette kept that letter. I guess sometimes you don’t realize the impact that your actions as a teen have on another person. As expected, Heather handled the situation with total class. That is truly how she is, honest and sincere. I love you, Heather! One of the highlights of my time in Hawaii was getting to know her, and we became great friends.

We were going so stir crazy in the house when they told us we were going to the beach. We couldn’t get ready fast enough! A field trip was just what we needed. I have to say that the beach day was highlight of the trip. We were so relaxed and everyone was having a great time.

I don’t think I have laughed so hard in my life. Tyrone, Chad and Scott S. were so hilarious. I think the beach day helped bring all of us closer. Of course, at the end Scott S. brings us all together. Zero drama!

Seeing Dennis and Manny after an awesome day at the beach meant that there was an instant sense of anxiety that came over everyone. I knew when I saw Manny something would come up about our dating back at Chandler. However, I was shocked to see him talking about having "sexual intercourse" in high school. That was a completely "classless" thing to do.

Where do I start with Dennis... he was completely out of control. The comment about Shalonda was absolutely horrible. I have never had racism in my face before and it was one of the worst experiences I had in Hawaii.

Shalonda and I became very close friends during our time on the island, and to see someone say hurtful things to my girl made my blood boil!

How do you call people names and not think that it will hurt? Scott S., Tom and I didn’t want Shalonda to leave -- and I was so afraid that she would because of Dennis' behavior. Behind the scenes we were trying to talk her out of leaving.

A couple of my former classmates tried to make excuses for Dennis, saying "He was just drunk." That didn’t help the situation one bit because there is no excuse for what he said. I know everyone acts a bit crazy after a couple of drinks, but Dennis crossed the line. I didn’t really know Dennis in high school so this was truly my first impression of him. Shalonda handled everything in her classy way; she is such an angel. I don’t know if I would have been able to hold it together if I were put in that situation.

Next week should be interesting. All I can say is forgiveness is necessary -- but sometimes it’s very difficult!

The Breakfast Club, Hawaiian Style

ScottS_TheClown — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 03:08:57 GMT

When I see the opening credits for High School Reunion, it reminds me of the letter that The Brain wrote at the end of the classic ‘80s movie The Breakfast Club. The essay Mr. Vernon assigned them to write as punishment was an answer to the question "Who do you think you are?" The characters in The Breakfast Club spent a Saturday in detention with this assignment; the Chandler High Class of ’88 spent two weeks in a mansion in Kauai looking back at who we were -- but more importantly, showing who we are now, 20 years later.

A moniker like "Cowboy," "Jock" or "Cheerleader" might give one a snapshot of who someone is, but it’s only part of the picture. I’d like to think that there’s a lot more to Shalonda than the fact that she got pregnant in high school, or that there’s so much more to Heather than the fact her dad was a pastor. I’d like to believe that there was more to me in high school than the fact that I was "The Class Clown." I don’t know if I always believed it back then, but I know that’s only part of who I am now. This time in Kauai is an opportunity for me to get to know people – well beyond what you see on the surface. When you look a little deeper, some of them are incredible, interesting people. Others, well, there’s not much below the surface….

I was filled with anxiety and excitement leading up to the first day at the reunion house. I’m sure we all thought a lot about who would be there, but there are a few people who never crossed my mind. The first shock for me was seeing Liz -- she and I were pretty good pals when we were sophomores, but grew apart as we went through high school. I was saddened to hear her say she didn’t have the best high school experience and felt badly for her (especially since it‘s obvious she still carries this with her).

I felt an instant bond with her -- and knew that I would enjoy spending the next 12 days making sure Liz had a good time. I was also SHOCKED and thrilled to see Heather! She was one of my first friends when I moved to Chandler and another person that I’d completely lost touch with. I also hadn’t seen Shalonda in over 20 years. We were pretty great friends our freshman and sophomore year, but drifted apart in high school -- and of course when she got pregnant, no one really saw much of her.

Scott H. was a good friend of mine in high school and we even lived in the same dorm up at Northern Arizona University, but I lost touch with him over the years, other than visiting briefly at our 10-year reunion. We’d begun to correspond as our 20-year reunion was approaching, and I was very happy that a good friend like him was there for this experience. I don’t know if I’d characterize Scott as a loner -- he’s actually got the sharpest sense of humor of anyone I know. He was a little quiet in high school and didn’t date much, but he was always well liked and had plenty of friends.

Chad was a buddy of mine through school whom I had always liked, and from what I knew of Scott W., he was really cool, too. Of course, I’ve been in touch with Tom and Kara over the years and know them very well. I consider them both good friends and never have felt "in the middle" or like I’ve ever had to take sides with them. I’d heard bits and pieces about their divorce, but never felt the need to pry for more answers. I know that the two of them do care about each other a lot, and if there is any chance for them to find something they lost, it might as well be at a once-in-a-lifetime experience like this.

Maricela was in my chemistry class in high school. She claimed that she didn’t know me, which is entirely possible (my ego isn’t bruised), but we sat right next to each other for a whole year. Within minutes I was pretty sure why she claimed she didn’t remember me. Maybe I’ll share that with you a little bit later. And lastly, there’s Jessica. Jessica’s the only one who was at our reunion who I truly didn’t know or remember. I kept waiting for there to be some reality-show surprise, like "GOTCHA! Jessica didn’t really go to Chandler High!" But she did. My initial impression of her was that she wasn’t a very genuine person (and no, I’m not even talking physically!). She came on way too strong to Tom and gushed all about him. Not that Tom’s not swell and all, but the cameras only caught part of what went down: It was so over the top that it was almost uncomfortable.

Well, that’s a little background for you about my past with the rest of the class and my impressions of seeing them at the house. As for the rest of the premiere, here are my thoughts when I watched it like you for the first time:

Liz’s description of how Jessica looked when she arrived is priceless!
Liz was very frank and candid about her feelings toward Jenny. It’s obvious that she’s thought about this a lot and that it’s a major factor in why she’s there. When Jenny walked into the house, you could just see Liz’s demeanor change. Since both of them are blogging here as well, I’m trying to keep my commentary on their friction to a minimum.

Tyrone’s arrival was neat. He was an important part of Chandler High and a lot of the people there have a history with him through sports. I ran track with Tyrone all three years at Chandler and felt like he was the best athlete in the state during that time.

Tom’s date with Jessica was really awkward ( if awkward is a synonym for “train wreck” ). You could tell that there was zero chemistry between the two of them and Tom didn’t appear to be very interested at all. He told me that he was flattered by the attention she gave him when she showed up and wanted to meet new people at the reunion, so he thought he’d give it a chance. The silence in the Jacuzzi after their date spoke volumes. For someone who gushed and raved about Tom and carried a crush for 20 years, Jessica appears to give up without much of a fight.

Toward the end of the show I think I mention how some people haven’t changed much, which was kind of ironic since that sound bite was right after I threw the frog in the Jacuzzi. I don’t think I was referring to myself at the time, but I might as well have been!

As we all got settled in the house, there wasn’t a whole lot of drama or romance, but trust me, this was the calm before the storm. It’s all going to blow up really quick here! I’ll talk to you all next week.

Message Edited by ScottS_TheClown on 02-18-2009 10:09 PM

The ‘Mean Cheerleader’: Perception or Reality?

Jenny_TheCheer — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 03:05:28 GMT

First let me start off by saying I am grateful to High School Reunion for allowing me to be a part of such a very unique and incredible experience. It is through difficult times and introspection that I gain the most personal knowledge, and I feel I was able to learn and grow as a person through this encounter. I am kind of an adrenaline junkie -- I get bored easily and I love to do things that take me out of my comfort zone.

This show was definitely that “quick fix” for me. I also had triplets 18 months before we shot this show and was in great need of some excitement -- and a little break from reality!

The anticipation was great. When I was standing on the beautiful mountain of Kauai, thinking about confronting one of the boys from high school, it was almost too much for me to bear. I couldn’t confront anyone in high school and I was starting to think that I couldn’t do it now. I’m not a confrontational person and when emotions get too high I tend to shut down. When that happens I can come across as cold -- and I didn’t want that either.

Needless to say at that moment, I think I would have rather been getting a root canal than having to confront Scott W. I love to have fun, I love to laugh, I work hard, I love my family and friends -- but I do not like to deal with anything emotional!

There was so much more that Scott W. said that didn’t make it into the premiere. He was so kind and genuine that it took me off guard and really touched my heart. It made the entire trip worth it at that point… or so I thought! I was on a natural high for facing one of my biggest fears head on. When it was over, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was so happy and excited that I literally said, “Thank goodness that my issue is over and now I can just go to the house and have fun for two weeks.” I was ready to do just that.

Little did I know that my entrance at the house was going to be extremely uncomfortable. I had no idea for the first day or so that there was a problem -- and that I was at the center of it! However, I could feel the tension and was a bit confused why some people were acting kind of strange to me. It was definitely not the warm reception that I anticipated or had hoped for; it was very cold and lonely.

I knew Liz more from junior high than high school, and although I was not good friends with her I thought that we were friendly acquaintances. That was my perception, anyway. I even looked in my junior high yearbook and had “sweetie” written next to her picture. I was devastated when I found out that she had memories of me that were not good, that I made her feel bad about herself and that she thought I was mean. It was never my intent -- I felt terrible that I had that affect (effect) on someone and didn’t even know it.

When I arrived, Tom was on a date with Jessica, whom I didn’t know much but got an earful about from the other classmates. I knew others really well like Tyrone, Chad, Scott W., Manny and Kara. I was acquaintances with Scott S., Lynette, Octavia, Liz, Dennis and Maricela. I was excited to reminisce about old stories; I was thrilled to get to know the people I didn’t know well -- and I was also glad that I wouldn’t have to take care of any kids for the next two weeks!

I was so glad to see Kara, and it didn’t take long before I felt like I had a friend back; she and I were best friends in junior high. Kara’s very confident in who she is and doesn’t get intimidated or jealous easily. She’s very different from Jessica and really there is no comparing the two.

The most important things I learned from this experience:

1) Perception is 100 percent of your own reality. Two people in the same situation can have completely different perceptions of the same experience and both are valid. The other thing I learned was we are all more alike than we are different. We all go through similar trials, especially between the volatile ages of 13 and 18. These were the hardest years of my life -- as well as the best.

2) The reunion was more like high school than I could have ever anticipated with all its drastic highs and lows, the fun times, the emotionally draining moments, the excitement -- and of course, the DRAMA. I hope you can watch the show and read the blogs without judgment and criticism, but rather view it with pure enjoyment. And remember to be somewhat thankful that it’s not you on the big screen going through what we all went through -- and let me just say we really went through a lot. Enjoy!

Message Edited by Jenny_TheCheer on 02-18-2009 10:11 PM

Keep in Touch!

Liz_TheWannabee — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 03:01:42 GMT

Welcome to my High School Reunion blog! I have never done this before so it should be an interesting ride.

Driving up to the Hawaii house for the Chandler High School Class of ’88 reunion, I was super nervous. I didn’t know if I would be the first or the last person to arrive. Either scenario seemed nerve-racking to me!

I was really excited to see Scott S. since he and I had been good friends in high school. Because I didn’t really like my high school years overall, I wasn’t sure how I would feel towards some of my other classmates. I honestly had not spoken to anyone for 20 years. I had no idea who else would be coming -- and when everyone arrived I could definitely tell that many of them still kept in touch and even knew who else was going to be there.

I knew Tom in high school but didn’t hang out with him. Coming to the show I knew that he and Kara would be there just because they were part of the popular crowd. What I didn’t know was that they had been married! She was the one person I was most looking forward to seeing and I was super-excited when she arrived!

I didn’t really recognize Jessica, Maricela, Shalonda or Heather.

The entire time we were at the reunion house Jessica excluded herself from our group interactions. I personally think she came on the show just to further her career and not to reconnect with the classmates.

OK, so the detention that Scott W. got came out of left field! Because Jenny was so mean to me in high school, it was very ironic to hear HER talk about being teased. That part of the first episode is a bit boring for me to watch.

Tom and Jessica’s hall pass was hilarious to watch. I wasn’t convinced that Tom really wanted to take Jessica. In my opinion he felt pressured to, since she had made it clear that she had a crush on him in high school. I have to admit that Jessica looked beautiful for her date with Tom. Their hot-tub scene is painful to watch, though -- she was trying so hard and it was totally obvious that Tom had no interest in her.

How about the line “I can tell you have been working out”… WOW! When they came back to the house everyone could tell right away that the date didn’t go well. Jessica wasn’t interested in talking to any of us about it -- instead she went to her room, which was something she did most of the time. I didn’t know about what happened to Jessica when she was a teenager until I watched this episode, so it explains a lot about the way that she acted during the reunion. I think had I known that I may have made more of an effort to get to know her.

I didn’t know what to expect when I saw Jenny walk in the door. But I was most shocked because I couldn’t believe that Scott W. would have any issues with Jenny. It was painfully uncomfortable for me when she arrived. You can tell by my face that I was not happy to see her. I wanted to come and have a good time and having her at the reunion was the last thing I wanted. Scott H. telling me to “knee her in the balls” was CLASSIC! I love my friends! She really did talk and talk and talk the whole time! I was absolutely annoyed.

There is a ton of drama coming up in the next few weeks of High School Reunion. Just you wait.

Message Edited by Liz_TheWannabee on 02-18-2009 10:03 PM