At this point Jimmy, Travis and me were the only ones left, and luckily, there are probably the only three people in the house Colt with Stacey at Dinnerthat didn't absolutely loathe me. But as luck would have it, we were totally separated for the remainder of our sojourn. But that was OK as we were headed to lovely Las Vegas -- where I've never been before.

As for Jimmy Heck, his Vegas experience is a pretty solid reflection of who he is and what makes him fantastic.

Jimmy is so manly that he makes Paul Bunyan look like a Spice Girl, is stronger than Paul's ox Babe, has more confidence than Jesus and apparently dislikes wearing a shirt even more than Matthew McConaughey (is it that shirts make you sweat? Are they just uncomfortable? I had the same problem when I was 2, but I hated wearing pants). Jimmy also has more than a firm grip on the English language. He has it by the throat, with a complete strangle-hold. There are no questions about it. He is its master. It works for him. To hear Jimmy express his opinions is an honor I hope all of you out there are cherishing.

So what could have been better than for him to drive really fast, get his shirt off, his muscles out, cut through any remaining barriers with his diction and then get physical on a pool table? What right-minded woman could resist his bravado, charm, grace and rhetoric? Also, has anyone noted Jimmy's hair line? That dude has more hair than Sasquatch. The world will stop spinning before he starts to bald. You lucky, strong, thick-haired, articulate bastard. You could probably seduce The Pope.

Jimmy in Las Vegas

As for Travis, I honestly thought that he was the best guy in this entire thing and I told this to Stacey. Travis is without a doubt a great guy. He's sweeter than a Twizzler dipped in Coca-Cola, has hair straight out of a Pantene commercial and can absolutely rip on a piano. What's not to love and be blown away by?

His Achilles heel (if he has one) is that he is, in fact, rather young. I'm not making any accusations, but perhaps this became even more apparent during their naked shower. Did Stacey see something that reminded her just how young he really is? Does Travis resemble a young man physically in EVERY way possible? That I cannot say, as I was not there (those familiar with the fantastic Cougar blogosphere know what I'm talking about! Shoutouts to Barry, Scotty, Tone, ALL THREE of the Colt supporters around the GLOBE!).

But maybe Travis dug his own grave with his words, and possibly his fear of what the future could hold between the two of them. But that's OK, Travis, let the two Titans battle it out for the heart of The Coug.

Travis

Travis
As for my experience in Las Vegas, it was indeed exciting as I'd never been there before. And when I learned we would be taking a truly majestic, surreal tour of the city via helicopter one would think I'd be more than excited. And I was. I was in fact terrified, as I have no bigger fear than heights. (Well, maybe vampires. And catching crabs.) I'm truly not a manly man, although one time I did steal change from a homeless guy - he couldn't play the saxophone for s**t!. So anyway, cruising around in a helicopter was not exactly my dream date and this came across rather evidently. If only you could see the full extent of my fear, I absolutely drenched my shirt. My armpits looked like they had been crying as hard as Jimmy was when he learned that Gilmore Girls had been canceled (HEYOOOO!). Also, my dear friend Marquita died in a tragic helicopter trick show accident when I was very young -- and this weighed heavily on my mind as well. But I guess the old adage is true: Love makes you do crazy things. R.I.P., Boo!

I was also nervous as it was becoming really obvious that this was getting serious, fast. Feelings were beginning to grow, and feelings were beginning to show -- at least on my part they were. Only one thing was certain: My feelings for her were
building at an uncontrollable pace. Like New Orleans, I was afraid that my levees would bust.

Our dinner date was nice. I'm not a fan of eating with people -- I've never enjoyed it, but then again, I'm an odd dude. I did my usual thing when on a dinner date where I try to get the woman to talk a lot, and just smile all the time. The cat's out of the bag, that's my simple secret. Here's another free lesson, fellas: on hot days, cover yourselves where the sun don't shine with baby powder. It's truly
exhilarating. The exhilaration will invariably translate into confidence, and we all know women love confidence.

One thing is difficult to put into words: Stacey's charm. We all know she's an incredibly pretty woman, but in person she looks absurdly attractive. And having shared a bath with her (jackpot!), I will confess that's an experience I'll never forget.  Having spent a lot of time with her I really can't express how intelligent and interesting she is. She knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. After Vegas, I was hooked.

Travis ended up getting the boot, leaving me and my nemesis to duke it
out. It's crunch time. Having lived the experience I'm quite sure that you'll enjoy what remains to be seen in this The Cougar finale. I hope you all enjoy it; I'm sure it will be a doozy.

Also I thought it appropriate to share my real feelings on the other members of the show. (Consider it my parting gift.)

First off, hey, Viv! I hope you're doing exquisitely. I miss you deeply.

Adam- Funny dude, very handsome
Austin- Truly unique, and environmental
Bodie- Liked his decision to wear shorts in 35 degree weather
Brad- Fantastic dancer
David- Very nice guy, but he didn't like me. And I didn't like the fact that he
played Ace of Base's "The Sign" when he got ready for the eliminations
Grant- Looks a lot like Adam, very gregarious
J.D- Big guy, small voice, very intelligent
Kai- Very genuine, nice dude
Ryan- Loves to make people laugh, loves to booze -- very good at both
Nick- Has an opinion on everything; unfortunately, no one really cares
Kevin- A true Southern gentleman. On the first night I was in the house, I secretly picked him to be the winner in my mind. I was actually shocked when he got sent home so early --  He should've shown the world his knack for religious poetry. It is making me misty as I write this. "Our God. Is an awesome God. He reigns. From Heaven Above." I would liken Kevin to a Christian Phil Collins -- if Phil Collins looked like a 6'2'' third grader and was interested in writing nothing but third-grade level lyrics.
Joe- Nice guy, apparently a good drummer
Tom- Funny guy, a bit nervous
Rich- Comically indifferent to the entire experience
Jon- Very, very mature, wealthy, has a house, two cars, good with computers.
He actually changed his name from "John" to "Jon" before the show, to give himself an edge -- little did he know that he had me (and what I can only assume to be the rest of the planet) at "I have a house."
Johnny- Very keen on ninjas, funny dude
Jim- Bad ass