"Twenty men entered

But only 15 would stay

My quest for Cougar love

Sees another day." – J.D.JD 

 

I was selected as one of the fortunate 15 who would be moving into The Cougar’s den and have the ultimate chance of capturing her heart. I must say, it wasn’t easy sweating the eliminations of the big first night. After freaking Stacey out with my strong, invasive prose and then not even grabbing the opportunity to partake in some interpersonal communication with her later in the night, I wasn’t exactly brimming with confidence. Despite these minor setbacks, she used her better judgment and extended me an invitation to her domain.  

 

While the aesthetics of moving into Stacey’s lavish spread was exciting, it was the dynamic of the characters and personalities I was sharing a roof with that made it an experience to behold.  Even from my relatively small time spent with the other guys, I could already kind of gauge who the alphas, the suck-ups, the sincere and so forth were. Being the good-looking yet reclusive guy, especially when in an unfamiliar environment, I knew it would take me a little more time to find my comfort zone. Momentum is everything for me and because I didn’t have it from the first night, there was no telling how my first actual conversation with Stacey was going to go. 

 

With our first day in the house, came our first test of might. Well, not so much in our actual might, but our ability to facilitate such to Stacey in a one-on-one fitness tutorial as her personal trainer. While some of the guys were champing at the bit to take their shirt off, and if there was time, maybe deepen their connection with Stacey, my head was spinning on how I was going to even scratch the surface. It was like I was back in a college marketing class preparing an elevator pitch. Well, I guess you could say I had a little more time than a standard elevator pitch, but that’s what it felt like! In five minutes, how am I going to convince this beautiful woman I’m not as loony as my poem made me sound, show her I’m a cool guy who's worth keeping around, and manually instruct her through a bench-press routine all while trying to keep my muscles flexed and not getting too excited? Easier said then done, as you can tell by that smooth introduction we shared. I did get to bench press though -- at least THAT made me feel like a man. 

JD and Stacey
To my, and no one else’s surprise, my engaging tutorial did not grant me a spot in the group date with Stacey later that night. For once in my life, I saw this with a glass-half-full perspective, and knew that at least now she wouldn’t have the chance to kick me off! 

 

While I was not there to share in the atmosphere and emotions of the skate date, I thought it was pretty obvious why she selected those guys. Colt, Adam and Travis appeared to have struck a chord with her from the beginning, and unlike other boys I thought had positioned themselves in that manner as well, they managed to keep their shirts on when the opportunity arose. Ryan was there because he had that in-your-face, uncensored personality, and oh, was in some testy waters with Colt. I think Stacey wanted to see how mature the boys could be in keeping their temperament at bay. Tom, I loved you and you were funny as hell, but you were the sacrificial lamb of the date – someone had to go.

Tom
The morning of Day Two brought the expected and unexpected travails of an adventure such as this. Coupled with the expected hangover I was enduring following the prior night’s sausage fest party, it was brought to our attention that we would be celebrating Stacey’s 40th -- I said 40th -- birthday! With this pending celebration, it would only be right if they turned it into a competition as to who could pave the way to Stacey’s soul through thy bearing of gift. I knew I was in trouble. I guess it doesn’t help when you try to schedule your romantic relationships with women so they don’t occur during the gift-bearing holidays. I mean uuuhhh… joke! As far as the gift I presented, if I could have done it over, I definitely would have went with just a card and a light-hearted birthday poem. It really irked me when Stacey assumed that the poem I recited was not my own, so I thought by composing one at this time, it'd go a long way. Maybe that could have made all the difference!? Damn you, hindsight! 

 

While Ms. Stacey was off running around with Jon, the rest of us groomed for yet another birthday surprise for her. While most of the guys fraternized with her friends, Mici and Kelly, I remained a bit more stand-offish and in my cocoon. At this point, I knew my time was near. There was never that initial getting-to-know-you time, especially after that face I got the first night! You know that face; you know what I’m talking about! Anyway, in a normal setting, if I couldn’t gauge that chemistry during an encounter, I would pack up and move on -- I know too well the abundance of fish the sea provides. Well in this setting, you can’t just run off and I knew that I was up against it. While some men could impress The Cougar to preserve their survival, I simply could not.

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-22-2009 11:13 PM
Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-23-2009 08:15 AM