TV Land PRIME blog

I phoebecates Thanksgiving. Yes, I just created a verb. When you phoebecates a holiday, you associate it with a negative experience. You know, like Phoebe Cates in Gremlins with that whole diatribe about her Dad dressing up in a Santa suit, and getting stuck and DYING in a chimney.

So I totes phoebecates Turkey Day because in 1980, I woke up to a dead guinea pig. Miss Piggy, as I affectionately named my pet, decided to stop living. I swear I was a semi-responsible pet-owner at 11, but I did start feeding her rabbit food, and since rabbits apparently produce enough vitamin C to sustain themselves and guinea pigs don't (and hence need GUINEA PIG food), I may have given Miss Piggy terminal scurvy.

My dad and I laid her to rest in a Thom McAn shoe box and buried her in the bushes in the front yard. Then a week later, my grandfather died. I went up to my grandmother after the funeral and told her we both experienced a great loss this week. She thought I meant my grandfather -- to her dying day. And I am sure deep down I did, but in the moment, it was all about the dead rodent in the shrubbery. 

My aunt, having lost her father the week after Thanksgiving, then became the anti-phoebecateser (a new noun). For years she has seen Thanksgiving as a time for family to be together, and as far as we are all concerned, she owns the holiday. Like I own Boxing Day, but that's a different story.

So what does this therapy session have to do with TV? Well, as I wrote in my first blog post, it was at my aunt's on Thanksgiving when I tuned into Soap. And when I really think about it, Thanksgiving does offer that "Thanksgiving episode" on TV shows. So here is a list of my 5 Favorite TV Turkey Moments:

1. Rachel's beef-infused trifle on Friends. "Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!" Best. Thanksgiving. Episode. Ever.  
2. The surreal pairing of Valerie Harper and Joanna Kerns as Andy Dick's lesbian moms on Less Than Perfect (did anyone else watch this show? Pre-Chuck Zachary Levi, anyone?)
3. "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." Thank you, WKRP's Arthur Carlson for your fowl publicity stunt.
4. Will & Grace. It's a tie between the flashback-to-the-'80s episode when Will and Grace were dating and the clever episode when the four give themselves time limits to visit multiple Thanksgiving dinners -- a memorable one showcasing Debbie Reynolds' "I told you so" dance.
5. When sweet Georgia Engel describes snapping the a bird's neck on Everybody Loves Raymond, I nearly wet myself. Kudos to Debra Barone's peace-making Thanksgiving pageant.

Honorable mention must go out to Roseanne because, while the Conner family matriarch owned Halloween like my aunt owns T'giv, it was always a joy to see Shelley Winters as Roseanne's grandmother. Almost as much as a joy as seeing my own.

Photo credits:  Arnaldo Magnami/Getty Images; stock photo; Warner Brothers Television, Getty Images, George Rose