TV Land PRIME blog

You know you're in trouble when Rod Stewart's ex-wife looks at you and declares you are the most bizarre thing she's ever experienced in her life.

But that happened to She's Got The Look's Laurie when she flashed her ladybumps at Rachel Hunter and the rest of the judges on last night's episode.

Laurie, in a bold display of mania, went topless in front of the judges to "stop the circus." You have to admit it was disturbingly honest. She isn't playing a game. This chick is über cray-cray and unafraid to show it. In fact, as we learned in the first episode, to be called crazy is a supreme compliment.

She had a mission to take care of the girls. She had a message - that America is a country of consumption and gluttony (where were you before the stock market crash, Laurie?), and that if you're not taking care of your body temple, you're exploiting everything God gave you.

So bless her heart, because at least you know where you stand with her, unlike some of the other women who are keeping their freak flag at half-mast. Shelly, who bears a striking resemblance to Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls, is revealing a side of herself that is quite different from her demure audition. And LeeAnne must be masking something with her needy chatter. By the way, check out this clip from the green room, where the ladies deconstruct Laurie's actions. Shelly and LeeAnne are sitting next to each other; I have never seen so much tension seething between two women since the final season of The Golden Girls.

But I must must must go back to my soul twin, Laurie. Yeah, soul twin: I am not sure if you caught this, but she is an ENFJ on the Bristol Myers personality test. That's what she told the judges, clarifying that she was "bottom right quadrant" like Joan of Arc and Oprah. So I had to take this legendary Bristol Myers test (or a crappy Internet facsimile) to see where I stand. Yep, I, too, am an EFNJ.

Do I have a little of Laurie in me? Would I go topless in front of a set of judges? Not so much, but I have no problem talking to my coworkers about the Intravenous Pyelogram I had when I was seven (there was a catheter and a numbing drug involved on my manparts).

Are there other topless EFNJers? The list of famous EFNJ folk is not just confined to Oprah, Joan of Arc, Laurie and me. There's Bill Clinton, who I am sure has been topless in front of some judge in his lifetime, not to mention the ubiquitously shirtless EFNJ Matthew McConaughey.

But being an EFNJ like Laurie is not just about bare chests. Also on the list is President Obama. Sure, he was photographed topless, but like his role model Abraham Lincoln, these are men of mission and conviction, like Laurie. She's a role model - in her own words - for women and teenagers to feel incredible about themselves at any age. As I type this sentence, Laurie doesn't sound so offbeat.

But then again, Randy Quaid's on the EFNJ list. Hmm, what to make of that? Well, like Laurie was booted from the show, Mr. Quaid was booted from Actors Equity. I was booted from the early acceptance list for Yale, so maybe all EFNJ people have crosses to bear.

You might not be an EFNJ, but you can be like Laurie, too - who wouldn't want to get some exercise? Who wouldn't want to shock the lesbian contestant? Who wouldn't want to be impishly adorable - because, as Laurie says, adorable means beloved, sexy is lust-driven?

Please send your comments here... as well as your donations to the Rachel Hunter therapy fund.