In 1996, when I first moved to New York, I joined an improv comedy troupe. After a rehearsal on Feb. 14, we took a jaunt to the Empire State Building, went to the observation deck, and proceeded to act as if we were couples breaking up. 

 

I know, not very nice. Especially in the face of a lovely young man proposing to his lovely young girlfriend.  Ah, love. 

 

The next year, a friend of mine had an anti-Valentine’s Day party for the single folk he knew (including me, natch), serving decidedly unromantic food like anything with garlic, and providing entertaining films to watch such as Debbie Does Dallas. 

 

 

So as V.D. arrives this year, the sick, garlic-breathed cynic in me has some media-related suggestions for what to do on a Valentinified Saturday night if you are feeling single and lonely and bitter and, well, like me. 

 

1. Revolutionary Road – I am sooooo seeing this movie Saturday night to remind me that marriage might be something I actually may not need in my life. 

 

2. The Office – I highly recommend watching the über-uncomfortable episode in which Jan and Michael have a dinner party. My favorite moment is watching Jim scrambling for an excuse to leave. Also, if you caught the recent episode in which newly single Andy tries to pick up a client, it is deliciously cringe-worthy because in many ways, we’ve all been there – just not as brilliantly floundering as Ed Helms portrays. 

 

3. Cheers – speaking of dinner parties, did you catch the episode when the Sternin-Cranes have Sam & Diane over? I particularly love Bebe Neuwirth’s manic rendition of “Our House” at the piano. 

 

 

 

4. Titanic – Yeah, yeah, I know it’s the most romantic movie ever and blah blah blah, but I would rent it just to watch him drown and rewind the moment over and over and over again. It may be time for me to go back to therapy — if for nothing else, to examine this whole Leo-Kate obsession.

5. Rock of Love Bus – or any dating reality show. Watching that desperate stripper chick makes me feel like there is at least one person out there more needy than I. 

 

6. Celeb Gossip – You can surf the web, but not for what you think I would recommend.  Instead of the p-word, check out TMZ or Perez Hilton – getting any dirt on celebrity couples makes our day-to-day struggles, like boring dates with actuaries, look like small potatoes. 

 

7. Two and a Half Men – Charlie Harper is simultaneously a hero of defiant singlehood and a cautionary tale.  Plus, any show with Conchata Ferrell AND Holland Taylor brings back memories of the ‘80s, when I was an innocent kid watching Bosom Buddies and E/R (the sitcom), not even thinking about dating when it was OK to sit on the couch every night and watch TV and eat from the frosting can.  

 

8. What’s Love Got To Do With It? – the title alone says it all. Plus, any Wesley Snipes–Laurence Fishburne love story is worth watching. Oh, come on: If Angela Bassett is that ripped, why can’t she just beat the living you-know-what out of the abusive dude? For my final two recommendations, I will tell you what NOT to do on Valentine’s Day if you are single: 

 

9. Stay away from anything Katherine Heigl appears in. She always plays a hot mess who ends up falling in love.  It’s just not fair.  And what’s with being in three different things where her character’s named Isabel or Isobel? Sometimes on V.D. I like watching horror movies, but not the one La Heigl is in – because it’s BRIDE of Chucky. 

  10. Do not attempt to get in touch with an ex. Do not attempt to cyberstalk the one that got away. Do not go to match.com to find someone for the evening. Do not. Do not. Do not. You are better off staying at home with the frosting can watching Debbie trying to land Bret Mycles. 

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 04-14-2009 12:15 PM