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At least, that's what I thought when I headed into the movie theatre in 1987, when Fatal Attraction first came out. I mean, to me, Glenn Close was Broadway's Mrs. Barnum, Robin Williams' mother in The World According to Garp and the earth mother in The Big Chill who wanted her husband to shtup Mary Kay Place. Before 1987, anything starring Glenn Close made her so not doable.

But in Fatal Attraction, whoa! Shew was a revelation: All id. All cray-cray. All man. Er, uh, I mean all woman (but what's with those shoulder pads?). 

I'm sure a film scholar has discussed all the Electra complex, castration-fear issues in this movie. I'm sure someone smarter than I mentioned that these movies are not cautionary tales about affairs – they are cautionary tales about having affairs with NUT JOBS. So what can I add to the canon of discussion about the movie where Michael Douglas' butt hangs out of the tail of his shirt?

I'm gonna go out a limb and say that Glenn Close's character, Alex Forrest, is misunderstood. Maybe it's because I am in the midst of three unrequited crushes in my life (they're all 10 years younger than me and might not even recognize some of the references in this blog), but I want to make a good case for Ms. Forrest:

That bunny-boiling incident?  It has nothing to do with spite. She was feeding the Gallagher family with hossenfeffer. The whole turning-on-and-off-the-lights? She was saving electricity (you go green, Alex Forrest!). And let's face it, who HASN'T gone on an elevator in SoHo and done the nasty? Anyone? Anyone?

Now, I don't condone her stealing the kid ( does anyone remember seeing the movie for the first time and thinking, "What gender is this child?" ), but that's only because I detest roller coasters. If Alex Forrest had taken little Ellen Gallagher to get a mani-pedi and then a chocolate torte, I would be all for it.

I will add that my female coworkers, like me, are absolutely on Alex's side. Why? Five words:

I won't be ignored, Dan. 

They say it all the time. You know – when the delivery dude from Excellent Dumpling House is late, or when someone's office doesn't return a call. Or, well, when they're being ignored by some guy named Dan. It happens.

Of the many catchphrases from the '80s, "I won't be ignored, Dan" is one of the most useful. Try it. I wouldn't recommend doing it while carving your own leg in a steamy bathroom where you will eventually jump out of a tub, but I am sure it can come in handy while standing in the grocery line or while trying to get Daniel Day Lewis' attention at an Oscar party to hand him your screenplay.

A final note: If you love yourself some stalker-fun like Fatal Attraction, there's another classic to check out (and no, it's not Swimfan):

It's that 1971 morsel Play Misty For Me, which had many parallels with Fatal Attraction: Both male lead characters' names begin with D. They have affairs with stalkerish chicks despite being in relationships with majorly doable babes (Donna Mills!). And like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, Misty's Jessica Walter is also a drag queen's dream.

*Yeah, yeah, I know: MILF wasn't a widely used term until 1999, when American Pie made it mainstream, but I couldn't find an '80s equivalent.  If you have any suggestions, leave them below – and keep it clean!

Photo credits (top to bottom):  Anthony Harvey/Getty Images;  Joe McNally/Getty Images; Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images

• Discuss Anne Archer, Glenn Close, Robin Williams, Michael Douglas and Donna Mills on the Actors/Actresses board.
• Discuss Fatal Attraction, The World According to Garp, and Play Misty for Me on the Movie Land board.