Stacey The Cougar Gets Personal

Today was a big day for me because I was meeting the families! First up: Travis' relatives. I was especially nervous because his mother is only 7 years older than I am. Part of me thought we could have a great friendship, but the other part of me knew she would be protective. His mom was shocked to learn I was 40 and had four kids. She had a lot of reservations -- which she expressed to me in no indirect fashion.

I was a little uneasy, but as a mother I understand where she was coming from. I really felt that I needed to assure her I would never put Travis in a situation to sacrifice or to be a distraction. I need an equal in life, and putting someone in a position to choose or to interfere with getting ahead in life isn't a healthy start.

I was surprised how much Travis stood up for me -- and us -- to his mother. Travis is very mature in that way, and he stands firm in who he is with solid conviction. When I kissed Travis in front of his mom, she said, "Ewwww!" That wasn't exactly the response I was after, but it did make me laugh a little. I understand his family's concerns, and agree that Travis and I may have way too much of an age gap. It's tough, because I really like Travis, who he is, and what he stands for.

When they asked me if it was "painful" I said "No, not at all." I told a white lie. It was scary as hell! I know my feelings run deep for Colt, and so I placed importance on this meeting -- so much so that it got the best of me. I definitely sensed that Colt was proud to introduce me to his brothers, and that made me feel special. His brothers said he NEVER holds a girl's hand, so they were very taken back to see Colt hold mine. I wonder what that's about? Is Colt unaffectionate or just super-selective? Hopefully it's the latter.

I can't say I was surprised that Adam brought Grant. It was fun to see him again, but I have to say I was disappointed that I didn't meet his parents. Adam openly admitted his parents wouldn't approve of me, so clearly we have a problem. Grant told me that he was the reason Adam "came along for the ride" of this whole experience. It's becoming clear that I should have kept Grant at the house and not his twin. Adam said Grant is cramping his style. Actually, Adam is cramping Adam's style. I really do like him, and many of his qualities. But obviously he hasn't been genuine and real. No woman likes to be taken for a ride, and I'm no exception.

It was a no-brainer sending Adam home. I am sure one day I will see him in Park City, and hopefully we'll remain friends. I understand his position with his parents, but I'm not sure why he dates cougars if his family would give him so much grief over it - and he's not able to handle their disapproval.

Every morning I wake up to coffee, but this morning I got to wake up to a kissing challenge with the six remaining guys! This is very telling, because a kiss -- and the way it makes you feel -- can be very revealing! Jimmy and Jon won the challenge. Need I say more about Jimmy's kiss?! WOW! It was electric and passionate. His funny side is coming out, and it showed in the length of time he kissed me. He was definitely trying to get a rise out of the guys, and it showed on their faces that he did.

I kind of sensed that it was Jon who put his hand over my heart, because he did that at the indoor skydiving date. Jon's kiss was sweet and I did feel chemistry.

I was anxious to see how Jimmy and Jon were going to interact on the date at the winery. Jimmy knows a lot about wine. He seemed comfortable and not the least bit intimidated. Jon, however, made a really awkward comment that made Jimmy and I both look at him in utter confusion. When he said he liked "plum wine" we were like, "Whaaatt?!" I like cooking sherry too, haha. You could tell right away that if Jon is out of his element, he has a hard time fitting in. I need a man who can be somewhat of a chameleon and can adapt in any environment.

I called Jon out on his lack of a "fun side" and he said he would "show me." I am still waiting. He's had the most dates with me and has had plenty of time to show me that side of him. I'm beginning to wonder if it exists. I do like that Jon is taking this seriously, and have to give him credit for that. But I also need to laugh and smile with the guy I chose.

Jimmy and I talked about his past relationship and how important his brother is to him. He exposed his sensitive side to me when he shed a tear. That says a lot about Jimmy and how he views family. Not many guys will cry in front of a girl! Jimmy is a "guy's guy," so it really surprised me when he exposed his vulnerability. What was even more surprising was his physical aggressiveness: It was playful, romantic and sexy when he ripped his shirt off and kissed me on the bed. I didn't expect to be dazzled by him on this date, but I was.

Back at the house, the guys were talking about Jon and how he never hits the Jacuzzi with them and camps out on the couch below the cougar den. I guess the guys are seeing what I do, and Jon really needs to start being a part of the group to show me he can interact.

My date with Travis and Adam was good and bad. With Travis, I have no reservations -- anything he tells me is real and truthful. What you see is what you get with Travis! Every time I am with him, I am more and more at ease, and feel like I can completely be myself. Adam, on the other hand, keeps skirting questions. When I asked Adam who he would be most scared to introduce me to, he said "Grant." I got so upset with Adam, because I can't relate and respond to half-truths. It began to wear on me.

I wonder if he deserves to be at the house, and often think that letting David go was a huge mistake. David may be shy, but at least he opened up. I confronted the guys back at the house and told them I can't handle, quite frankly, b.s. When Jon laughed at me, I was floored. Here I was, trying to express my feelings, and Jon shot me down with a sarcastic snicker. Then he tried to start an argument with Travis for no apparent reason. He is getting under my skin. I'm protective of the guys, and if I see arrogance like that, it doesn't go unnoticed.

It may seem like I am asking the guys too many point-blank questions. But when I have to make a decision in such a short amount of time, that's the only way I know how to get down to the core issues of having a successful relationship. I took the guys to the beach so we could all relax, but at the same time, get down to the heart of the matter. I have to eliminate two guys tonight and want solid answers.

Adam and I had one of the most real and heartfelt talks since he's been at the house. I do feel like he is trying to open up as best as he knows how. He told me Jon started a fight with Travis and I was not happy about that.

Joe is so sincere and genuine, but I'm not sure if I have that spark and connection with him. He said the "L" word, which was flattering and very profound, but also scary. That's a big word, and although I love the time I've had with Joe, I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear that.

I told Jon that his reaction to my conversation was out of line. He didn't have much to say about it other than it "wasn't me." When I asked, "If it wasn't you, who was it?" he really had nothing to say. When he said Travis started the fight, I knew right then and there he was full of it. Travis is non-confrontational and gets along with all the guys in the house. Jon is beginning to show me that he lacks confidence. Laughing at me and starting trouble with Travis is clearly a lack of self control. If someone lashes out at others when conflict arises, it shows they might not have life-coping skills. I need someone who can be there for me through struggles -- not add to them.

I had to say goodbye to Jon and Joe. With Jon, I'm disappointed things didn't continue in a positive light from our first date. I really thought Jon stood a chance to be one of the last men standing. He has a very mature side to him and is an attractive guy, but may be a bit too conservative and uptight for my taste. Jon is stable in many ways of his life, but with social interactions, I saw another side that I didn't like. Meanwhile, Joe was a hard guy to let go! If I had more time with Joe, maybe he would still be at the house. But unfortunately, time is not on our side. Joe is remarkably mature, level-headed and such a gentleman at such a young age. Any girl will be lucky to have him!

Next week I meet the families of the final four guys. How nerve-wracking and exciting! It should also be fun meeting the families and gauging their reactions to me, so be sure to tune in.