Stacey The Cougar Gets Personal

Today's going to be one of the biggest days of my life. It's also going to be incredibly bittersweet. My kids are coming to the house and I can't wait to see them! But tonight I have to face Colt and Jimmy, both of whom I care about deeply. I'm painfully aware that tonight, one of these guys will have his heart broken. My own heart is already aching just thinking about saying goodbye. On the other hand, I'm excited about starting a life with the man I love. My mind is flooded with emotions!

My kids are here. I wrapped my arms around them and got to spend some one-on-one family time together. It felt great to have them with me again. They first met Colt, who was incredibly calm and relaxed with my kids. He got right to their level and answered all their questions in a straightforward way. Kids can pick up on someone "trying too hard" to earn their trust, and he definitely never once put on a false front. Graham even said to Colt that "he is who he is." My children are seeing the same things that I do in Colt, and that's so reassuring. Colt knows my kids are musically inclined, so I loved that he played the guitar for Graham, Delaney and Tatym. I was amazed at how well he interacted with each of my children. Seeing this, I knew I made the right decision to have Colt as one of the final two.

Jimmy arrived with flowers in hand and groceries to make dinner with my kids. What a perfect way to break the ice, because my kids love to cook with me at home. My kids were constantly smiling around Jimmy. Jimmy has this persona that instantly puts someone at ease. I could tell my kids sensed this as well. At dinner, we were all comfortable, laughing, and the conversation was flowing. Nothing seemed contrived or unnatural. Introducing my children to someone I date is a rarity and I am cautious. But Jimmy put me at total peace once I saw how he connected so easily with my kids. It was so cute to hear Tatym ask Jimmy if he was in love with me! Then Delaney spilled the beans at dinner and told me Jimmy said he was; I was completely taken off guard.

Upstairs getting ready for the kiss-off, all I did was pace. I was a mess. When Colt walked into the room, all I wanted to do was run. I wasn't ready at that moment to say goodbye. I probably would never be ready. I fell in love with Colt, but I wasn't sure if he was ready to have a committed relationship with me. It's so hard to make a decision from snapshot moments, but at the same time I believe in love at first sight. I knew from the minute Colt walked off the bus that first night, he was someone special. Colt's personality shines right through his beautiful smile and I had a gut instinct that he would be at the house until the end.

 

There was so much more I wanted to talk to Colt about, to share and experience. But we didn't have time on our side. Saying goodbye to Colt crushed my heart. I knew we had a connection on so many levels, but I'd fallen in love with someone else. What scared me the most is that it's easy to fall in love -- staying in love is the hard part. I could only hope that I was making the right decision.

I chose Jimmy for so many reasons. Off camera, we had very intimate moments and conversations about our future. Jimmy is a family man, and I was so attracted to that side of him. I could tell he enjoyed my children and that he appreciates large families. When I met his family, I instantly felt at home. They were so welcoming and warm, and I could visualize me and my kids fitting right in with the Hecks.

Jimmy's charisma and charm is addictive. Every time he walks into a room, I feel drawn to his larger-than-life presence. He has a great sense of humor, and I'm always laughing out loud around him. Jimmy and I have great chemistry. It's funny that he pointed out that some things are "unspoken" and I originally shot him down for that comment. Now I know what he meant: We just clicked. Our energies and passions were completely in sync.

Even though Jimmy told my girls he was in love with me, my biggest fear was that once I told Jimmy I was in love with him, he would get cold feet. So when he got down on one knee and proposed, I was ecstatic! Here I was, at 40, with the man of my dreams on one knee, professing his love. When he placed the ring on my finger I had no fears or reservations. It felt completely right. I felt like I was in a dream! We had fallen in love with each other. Driving away in the limo, we couldn't stop looking at each other in awe and disbelief that we met and fell in love. In such a short time, we both knew in our hearts that love knows no age boundaries and no time restraints.