She's Got the Look Models

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for -- and I’ve got the look! I’m the diamond in the rough, the friendlier beauty, the one with sophistication and confidence… well, at least that’s what the judges said. I’m the new supermodel over 35 who’s been given a contract with Wilhelmina Models! 

In the beginning of the competition, who would have thought it would all come down to a 45-year-old married mother of five?

“If you think you are beaten, you are.  If you think you dare not, you don’t.  Success begins with your own will. . . It’s all in your state of mind.  Life’s battles are not always won by those who are stronger or faster or prettier, sooner or later the person who wins is the person who THINKS she can!”

I guess my self talk worked in my favor and the judges felt my confidence because let’s face it; I wasn’t the most beautiful in the competition. I think I won because I’m “seasoned.” I welcomed our final challenge with open arms and felt that this is where my pageant experience would help.

I felt good about every aspect of the SELF challenge except the creative part of presenting it. I did my best and got criticized by Kim: I drew a bathtub and she thought it was a bowl of chili. I wanted to laugh out loud, but refrained; I don’t mind being criticized when the facts are truly stated -- even I knew that my design left a lot to be desired.

Although my artistic ability lacked skill, my inner beauty did not. I was confident that my life experience would give me an edge. I’ve had to prove myself my entire life. People have judged, criticized and hated me because my beauty intimidated them. My colorful family history is not something to be proud of, but any opportunity to share it with an audience usually wins points in my favor. Had it not been for my past, I’m not sure that I would have even made the Top 20 cut. 

I related to all the ladies because at some point in my life, I’ve been insecure, unsure, afraid, self-centered and over the top. Bahia, Melissa and Roxanne were by far the better beauties -- and in photographs Karin was the most gorgeous!

This is how it all went down on the final episode: Nerves were on edge, the intensity of the competition EXTREMELY high and the uncertainty of what would come next was unbearable.

As far as the judges were concerned, I was perfect and they didn’t like that.  I really was a nervous wreck the first two competitions. They picked up on my nervousness and began to label it as trying to be perfect.

After the runway competition, I began to loosen up and the judges took notice. The runway competition and the trapeze shoot are what helped me gain big points -- I went from being afraid of the elimination process to anticipating being before the judges. I enjoyed Sean’s constructive criticism and brutal honesty. I loved Robert’s quick wit and sense of humor; he made us laugh at ourselves. Beverly’s keen eye and supermodel experience allowed us to learn more about how we could become better at being a model.

What an amazing journey, to start among thousands of applicants, then to become one of 20 semifinalists, then in the Top 10 and finally, to win it all. What an accomplishment to have made it this far.  

I knew that I had to do something radically different to let the judges really see the real Tanya. I decided to change the texture of my hair and go from the flat-iron look to my natural texture, which is wavy and curly. I also had to go shopping to find a new outfit that was hip and not the traditional conservative-mom image that I’d been letting them see. Bahia and Karin went shopping with me to help me find the perfect outfit – they’re the best when it comes to clothing, fashion, style and creativity. 

I was so excited to show up with my new look. Bahia felt a little nervous once she saw me – she felt it would give me an edge because it showed that I’d transformed somewhat.

Celeste got eliminated next, for obvious reasons. She’s too self-centered, something the SELF editors picked up on immediately and sent her back to Chicago to continue her entrepreneurial endeavors.

Karin and Bahia were shocked that Celeste got eliminated because that’s what she does for a living -- marketing and PR. She should’ve been used to pitching; she confessed before the challenge that she was used to pitching for others, but not for herself. I found this contradictory because Celeste is all about Celeste all the time. I wasn’t surprised by Celeste’s elimination and was glad that Celeste had met her match.

Up until this point, I felt horrible each time one of the ladies was sent home.  But it was about time Celeste was finally off my back. I always felt that she saw me as a threat to her -- she even told the Wilhelmina judges during the go-see that I should be the one to get eliminated because I complained too much.  

Celeste was a strong competitor, but she was “over the top” and overly confident. I think there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance and I felt that Celeste crossed the line.

Bahia somewhat impressed the judges with her “I Am Enough” theme. They felt she was trying to convince herself that she was enough by the way she dressed for the interview. They, however, felt her suit was a bit inappropriate for a business meeting (it showed her belly button), but they liked her tag line. Bahia said that she used to be afraid of success because once you succeed then you have to own up to it. Well, I think the fear must have still been there, because in the end Sean didn’t select her -- and we all know that Sean loved Bahia from the day he laid eyes on her.  

Karin’s concept, “The Birth of Beauty,” was awesome! Her theme was the best because it explained her journey thus far and what she had become. It represented her transformation and she did a great job articulating how she felt about her beauty. It was well done, creatively and artistically.  She was organized too.  I guess being a former attorney helped her present her case with confidence. Karin has an unbelievable transformation story, but she’s still a work in progress. We all had an awakening and realized that Karin was equally as competitive as the rest of us during the final hours. She looked absolutely fabulous in her SELF cover photo and her concept was the best by far, but I think the judges picked up on her uncertainty.

Karin and I shared a room throughout the competition and slept side by side. Each night when it was time to go to bed, I felt like I was living with John Boy and The Waltons. We’d reflect upon the events of the day and discuss what we’d learned. We promised each other that if I won, she would look at me and say, “I told you so,” and that if she won I would look at her and say, “I told you so.” We had mutual admiration for each other. And in the finale it was the two of us standing side by side, holding hands and remembering our promise to each other and guess what? As we hugged when my name was called out, she spoke quietly in my ear, “I told you so.” I smiled because she didn’t forget her promise.

I am so happy to win the contest and thankful that these amazing women have allowed me to be a part of their lives.

Thanks, TV Land, for taking a risk and giving me a chance to represent you. Your network rocks! I feel like a part of the family. It’s been a pleasure getting to know all of you.