Contestant KarinDuring the trapeze challenge I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn’t hear Bahia at first. Suddenly everyone was talking about it. Bahia has a fear of heights. It took only a glance at her to see that it was very real. There is nothing wimpy about Bahia, but she was shivering like a leaf.

 

The determination she showed when she tried to climb the ladder was admirable. She was so terrified that it broke my heart to watch her. I think I speak for all of us when I said that in that very moment we all forgot that it was a competition and we just wanted to carry her through. But we couldn’t. Bahia tried twice and although she didn’t actually swing in the trapeze she showed more courage than any of us that day.

When it came to my turn I decided to find within me what brought on the longing emotion in the first place. I knew I had to forget that I was hanging in the air and instead focus on an inner life that would bring longing, so when I stood on the platform, ready to let go, I fixed my eyes on a spot in the distance beyond a bridge. I pretended that my boyfriend was waiting there in that very spot, near enough to see yet so far away. Then I tried to communicate that sensation with my entire body.


When I climbed down I had truly felt longing, but whether it translated well to film or not I had no idea. Some of the other girls did really well. Hope was my favorite yet again. Today I thought, she nailed it again, and as good as Celeste’s picture was, I was surprised when she won the leg-up challenge.

The next morning the air felt somber and thick, a phenomenon we now had come to recognize as the elimination-day vibe. This, however, only lasted until we arrived at our destination for the day and learned that we were about to shoot an ad campaign for million-dollar Barbara Parker jewelry, shot while wearing stunning Sherri Hill gowns. We’d all been waiting for a shoot like this. The jewelry was truly breath-taking and for the first time in my life I wished that I had pierced ears.

We met the photographer, Fadil Berisha, and I immediately liked him. His vision is so strong that you could almost see the finished pictures he had in his mind as he discussed dresses, hair and makeup. I’d never have picked a pastel gown for myself, but I knew I could trust him.

We were introduced to two very young male Wilhelmina models for the shoot. When Kim introduced them, I was surprised at how some of the women reacted -- as if they had been locked away from men for a decade! Sure, the guys were good-looking, but to me they were kids and they were there to work with us. It’s their job to look good. Speaking of, I knew all too well that it was up to me to look good today and that I had to step up my game again.

The high stakes had made me nervous, but the second I stepped on Fadil’s set I forgot about everything. Fadil was both clear-headed and passionate about what he wanted. As soon as we started shooting I felt an intense connection with his vision. People commented afterward on me directing the male models (I asked one of them to kiss my hand). I did this only because I somehow knew it would enhance the vision Fadil had in mind, not to be arrogant.

 

This shoot opened up an entirely new world to me. There was that all-absorbing great energy of a team being in the zone together, forgetting time, place and self while working toward a creative goal. I hadn’t realized until now that this is what it entails to model. There’s so much more to it than to smile pretty, or to have the perfect nose I’ll never have. There’s truly a story to tell in every image and the camera is your most mesmerized listener.

I’d like to end on this note, because this was truly a defining moment for me, but as with every great moment on She’s Got the Look it has to end with elimination night. I’d dared to believe until now that I’d done a good job, but then one picture after another from the jewelry ad was displayed on the wall and all the women looked so stunningly beautiful. How could I compete with that? But I could. I wasn’t prepared for the strong reaction I had when I turned to my picture. It was something deeper than I could explain. It didn’t make sense to me then and perhaps it shouldn’t be over-analyzed, but it was as if in that instant I came full circle, or found the missing piece of me up there on the wall. I felt free in a way I hadn’t felt for a very long time, perhaps ever. Does that seem shallow? Then consider this. There are no set rules for what’s real. It simply is. And that in itself is beauty. I will be forever grateful that I found it.

Unfortunately we did have to say goodbye to Melissa and Roxanne tonight. They both left with beautiful pictures and could hold their heads high. I will be looking for them in magazines.

 

--Karin

Message Edited by Finalist_Karin on 06-25-2008 10:47 PM
Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 06-25-2008 10:51 PM
Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 09-26-2008 01:56 AM
Message Edited by TVLTheLink on 06-11-2009 11:43 AM