High School Reunion Blog

Wow. Where do I start? I doubt if any of you will remember or concentrate much on what happened before Dennis and Manny arrived, which is unfortunate. As I write this, it’s hard for me to focus on anything that happened before their arrival, because all I can think about is, “How on earth am I going to describe this disaster?”  

My goal and hope in writing this blog is to fill you in on my insight and personal behind-the-scenes vantage point so you can better understand what was going on and feel like you were there with us. After seeing Dennis’ behavior and impact on the house, I bet most will be thankful that you weren’t. So bear with me as I describe what day two and three were like for the Class of ’88; I think that it will put Dennis’ offensive and destructive behavior in a different perspective. 

I laughed out loud watching Maricela’s Hall Pass with the guys. I had a feeling that with his past skateboarding experience, Scott W. would do the best, but was impressed with Chad’s skills, too. Tom’s wipeout didn’t look as bad as it actually was. I talked with him shortly after. He was a little embarrassed, more than anything. Anyway, Scott W and Maricela seem to have made a connection. She mentions that this was an experience she didn’t get to have in high school (meet someone new and date). I’ll be interested to see where that leads. 

Heather was summoned to the first detention of her entire life -- to everyone’s surprise. Her best friend from high school, Lynette, came to Kauai to seek answers to why Heather ended their friendship in a letter 20 years earlier. Poor Heather was crying before Lynette even spoke a word. That tells me that this is something that has bothered her, too, over the last 20 years. Heather was very apologetic and Lynette was equally forgiving. I felt that the two of them did a great job sharing their feelings about what happened back then, but more importantly, deciding to focus on the future rather than dwell on the past.  

When they retuned from their detention, the entire house loaded up for an outing to the beach. For me, this was the best experience of our time in Kauai. I think the stress and anxiety of this reunion was weighing on a lot of us. Added to that was settling into a house with 14 different personalities (some of them quite strong and some of whom don’t necessarily get along). The beach trip was an opportunity for us to cut loose, relax, get to know each other a little bit and bond. I really feel like that happened that day -- an environment of trust, friendship and mutual respect was established. I think it’s important that you know this, because I think for many of us it describes our feelings as we plummet from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows later that night. It’s not just that Dennis’ behavior that follows is offensive and objectionable (which it absolutely is); it’s that it occurs after this great bonding experience where many of us had lowered our guards and begun to relax.  

As Dennis and Manny tour the house, they look at our pictures and comment on them. For many of the girls, they use their rating system (Way Decent, Decent, Fair, etc). I’m not going to fault them for having their opinions on girls and sharing them with each other. Some people might view this as being sexist, but what they do in their own company is up to them (of course, they’re not in their own company -- they are on camera, which makes everything different!). When Dennis looks at my high-school picture and stereotypes me as “weird” or “goofy” because I loved my experience, dressed up as a cheerleader a few times for laughs and had school spirit, well, he’s entitled to his opinion. I’m not offended or threatened by Dennis calling me those names. I consider the source and look at the fact that he’s being offensive to most of the people there, so I don’t take it personally. But when he picks up Shalonda’s picture and calls her names, that’s a different story. At that point, his best friend Manny has the sense to warn/advise him. It would appear to me though that by this point, Dennis is past the point of taking advice and heeding common sense.  

My first thought as we returned to the house was that there must have been a flood or a water leak or something. As we walked closer, it was obvious that someone was pranking us. We walked to the backyard and saw Manny and Dennis playing beer pong; shortly after the insults started and the night began to unravel. My initial reaction to seeing Dennis and Manny was mixed: I had a class with Manny when I was a sophomore and actually thought he was a pretty good guy. I remember Dennis as being a bit of a troublemaker, but never had trouble with him personally and hadn’t thought about him in the last 20 years.  

Nevertheless, it was obvious to me that they’d both been drinking and that their behavior was obnoxious, so I made a conscious decision to keep my distance. I’m not scared or intimidated by either of them, but they weren’t people that I hung out with 20 years ago, so why would I now? As a teacher and a parent, the last thing I would want to do was put myself into a combustible situation that might blow up. In high school, if guys came in acting like this, you’d either ask them to leave or make the decision to leave yourself. At this reunion, that didn’t appear to be an option. So I watched from a distance and observed how the dynamic of the house had changed for the worse, and wondered if it was damaged for good. 

When I felt the dust had settled a bit, I rejoined the group to eat. At this point Dennis returned and started in on me about how he felt about my school spirit. Dennis used labels like “gay” to describe what he thought of me in high school. I want to make it absolutely clear: I do not care one bit what Dennis thinks of me. It was obvious that he was drunk, not thinking clearly and slurring his speech. He had offended many of my classmates already, so it’s not like I felt singled out. As a heterosexual person, I still find his choice of homophobic words very offensive. At the moment I didn’t see it as a personal attack, but as an example of Dennis’ ignorance and lack of common sense using words and language that most people in society find offensive.  

I think the boiling point of the night occurred when Dennis repeatedly used a racial slur to describe Shalonda’s picture from high school. Shalonda handles herself with an incredible amount of class and dignity throughout the conversation, but it’s not possible to speak logic to someone who’s in Dennis’ state of mind.  

Episode 2 leaves us smack-dab in the middle of this drama, so that’s where I’ll leave it, too. Until next week.

After Tom and Jessica’s “Hall Pass” date, I think Kara was a little uncomfortable talking to Jessica about it. I do believe that Jessica was sincere when she was expressing her thoughts [about Tom] to Kara, though. It’s obvious that Kara and Tom do still have a connection.   

When Maricela got the Hall Pass, I think that Tyrone was disappointed that he wasn’t chosen. I think it was more because he may have wanted to just get out of the house. When the guys went on the Hall Pass with Maricela, we were all sitting around the house wishing we were them! While the scene with Tom drowning looked very real, we knew when Tom came back that he was just embarrassed and that it was as dramatic as it appeared.  

Scott W. and Maricela did have a connection from the time we got to the house and so I’m not at all surprised that she chose him for the date. Our conversation in the hot tub -- when Jessica confesses who she’s interested in -- kinda threw us all for a loop. When Jessica found out that Maricela had chosen Scott W., she was disappointed and it showed. Their conversation at dinner seemed so natural and comfortable. Scott W. is just such a genuine guy and so sweet. I think Maricela needed someone like him, because back in high school her boyfriend didn’t treat her with respect and controlled her life. It was refreshing to see them laughing and having a good time.  

When Heather got a detention, I thought it was a joke!  She is the sweetest, most caring person I have ever met and I was stunned to find out that someone had an issue with her. I knew Lynette in high school but I did not know that she and Heather were best friends. Heather was so shocked -- the emotions were real for her. I was surprised that Lynette kept that letter. I guess sometimes you don’t realize the impact that your actions as a teen have on another person. As expected, Heather handled the situation with total class. That is truly how she is, honest and sincere. I love you, Heather! One of the highlights of my time in Hawaii was getting to know her, and we became great friends. 

We were going so stir crazy in the house when they told us we were going to the beach. We couldn’t get ready fast enough! A field trip was just what we needed. I have to say that the beach day was highlight of the trip. We were so relaxed and everyone was having a great time.

I don’t think I have laughed so hard in my life. Tyrone, Chad and Scott S. were so hilarious. I think the beach day helped bring all of us closer. Of course, at the end Scott S. brings us all together. Zero drama! 

Seeing Dennis and Manny after an awesome day at the beach meant that there was an instant sense of anxiety that came over everyone. I knew when I saw Manny something would come up about our dating back at Chandler. However, I was shocked to see him talking about having "sexual intercourse" in high school. That was a completely "classless" thing to do. 

Where do I start with Dennis... he was completely out of control. The comment about Shalonda was absolutely horrible. I have never had racism in my face before and it was one of the worst experiences I had in Hawaii.

Shalonda and I became very close friends during our time on the island, and to see someone say hurtful things to my girl made my blood boil!  

How do you call people names and not think that it will hurt? Scott S., Tom and I didn’t want Shalonda to leave -- and I was so afraid that she would because of Dennis' behavior. Behind the scenes we were trying to talk her out of leaving.  

A couple of my former classmates tried to make excuses for Dennis, saying "He was just drunk." That didn’t help the situation one bit because there is no excuse for what he said. I know everyone acts a bit crazy after a couple of drinks, but Dennis crossed the line. I didn’t really know Dennis in high school so this was truly my first impression of him. Shalonda handled everything in her classy way; she is such an angel. I don’t know if I would have been able to hold it together if I were put in that situation.  

Next week should be interesting. All I can say is forgiveness is necessary -- but sometimes it’s very difficult!