High School Reunion Blog

I have to admit this experience was nothing like I thought it would be. It’s hard to describe but I guess this reunion would be like coming home to your crazy family who you haven’t seen in many years -- you may just get a few surprises that you were not anticipating. We don’t get to choose who they are and may not always like everything about them, but you never desert them. You’re there for them when they need you and you work through the difficult times. That’s what makes you a family and brings you closer together; that’s what happened to us, the Chandler High Class of ‘88. Like it or not, we all share an experience that has bonded us for the rest of our lives. 

As far as Jessica and Maricela’s issues go, I hope they both find peace and happiness in who they are and can learn and grow from anything they may have gone through. I am concerned that they may be hurting themselves and that is never OK. I was a bit disappointed in how we treated each other sometimes -- and that includes Jessica. Regardless of what she did it was not OK to make her feel bad, like she didn’t belong. I felt like she didn’t fit in back in high school and after 20 years, nothing had changed. That’s a shame.

I can relate to Jessica in some crazy way because we both share a life-altering, traumatic event. Both of our fathers committed suicide. Not many people know what that does to a person. I was fortunate that I had great friends and somehow found a sense of myself early on… but I struggled back then and occasionally struggle now. The effects never truly go away. If I wouldn’t have had my friends and their wonderful families, I don’t know what would have happened to me or where I would be today.   

I enjoyed having Maricela in the house and I think a lot of the other classmates did, too. She was easy-going, positive and a lot of fun! During the early part of the reunion, she was having the time of her life and it’s very unfortunate that it turned into something so bad for her. I wish her nothing but the best and know this experience will only make her stronger. I know she and Scott W. still talk on occasion and will probably remain great friends. Although I don’t agree with prostitution or really the adult industry as a whole, I don’t pass judgment or form an opinion as to the validity of the accusation. It’s not my place -- or anyone’s business for that matter.   

Prom was a blast. It was fun getting ready, getting in the limos and having our pictures taken. It felt just like 20 years ago -- except we were allowed to drink this time! I just wish I was a little more aware that the camera was around. Acting ridiculous can be fun but doesn’t look too cool on TV. Thank goodness they did not show me doing the “Running Man” in my dress and heels.

Taylor Dane was an amazing performer. She was better than I remembered and was a great surprise for us all. Liz gave a heart felt Prom Queen acceptance speech and it was good to see her have such a good experience and feel special for the night. We all need a little of that every now and again!

Since the reunion, I’ve had the opportunity to go out with Chad when he has come home to visit; had some great conversations with Scott W. over lunch; Kara and I see each other when we can and will always stay great friends; Tom and I are doing a new business together; Lynette reconnected with a wonderful man at our actual reunion and I had the pleasure of going on a dinner date with them; Tyrone and I have gotten together a couple times and played some poker (he finally beat me… good job, Tyrone, you know how much I hate to lose to you!).  While our lives are all so busy and some of us live further away than others, it is my hope we can always remain in each others’ lives and continue to be there for each other. It was nice going back in time for two weeks and reliving some of our old memories -- not many people get the chance to do that. We’ve all moved on but will never forget the chance we had to revisit the innocence of our youth and how much fun that can be.

This final episode was very sentimental to me. As hard as it was at times and as much as I wanted to go home to the people who love me and understand me, I was so sad when it was all over and time to go. Andrew summed it up best at the end. I wish somehow we could teach all our kids that all you really need to do is be yourself. I will always have a special place in my heart for my High School Reunion family!

For me, this week’s episode was all about Jenny and me. That may sound selfish, but I don’t mean it to. I was just so happy to have the drama between Jenny and me come to end. I know what everyone was thinking when I got my Detention -- and I should have known that it was with Jenny. But usually you get a Detention with someone that is not already in the house so of course when I saw it on my bed, my heart sank just thinking that there may be someone that I hurt in high school, someone who wanted to confront me. This episode was the first time that I was not in the house and it was hilarious seeing my friends talk about me coming back "alive!"

The drive to the beach was the longest ride of my life. I had so many things going through my mind, wondering if it was Jenny that I was going to see or if in fact it was someone from high school whom I had "wronged." In a strange way, I was relieved to see Jenny when I got to the beach. I remember feeling a little awkward standing there thinking, "What do I say?" and realizing that our ride was leaving us there TOGETHER!  

OK, so let’s start with the tent. WOW. I thought I was a pretty good camper, but wrestling with that tent was frustrating -- Jenny and I struggled with it for about an hour. Then the fire, hmm, yeah not so much! We had to gather STICKS and try to get it started. I also have to give Jenny props for gutting that fish, because I wasn’t having anything to do with it since we didn’t have a way to shower or wash up… except in the ocean. But Jenny jumped right in and got it done. And it actually turned out pretty good!  

Detention is usually viewed as a bad thing, but I think it was truly one of the best experiences I had in Kauai. I was able to get to know Jenny as the person she is now -- and let go of my feelings about her from high school. We spent most of the night just talking about our lives. There was so much that I didn’t know about her life outside of school. I was able to get a lot of insight into why Jenny was who she was back at Chandler. I’d made many judgments about her then, and I feel like by doing that I lost out on a possible friendship with her.  

Not only did I learn about Jenny's childhood, but it turns out that she and I have a lot in common. We have had very similar experiences in the past 20 years. I regret not confronting her in high school, but I know that everything happens for a reason. The fact that we were forced to spend time together was a blessing in disguise: We got to really share conversations and laughter.  

This experience has made me a much stronger person and helped me realize that you can’t always judge a person on the surface, and for that I am so grateful.  

Unfortunately, you didn’t get to see the funniest part of our encounter on the beach. That would have to be the morning after... we didn’t have a change of clothes or any of the things girls need before turning in at night. When both of us came out of the tent the next morning, we couldn’t stop laughing! We both looked a mess.  

I think everyone at the house was just as happy as we were that we’d worked everything out. It was at that point I realized how uncomfortable it must have been for them with the tension between Jenny and me. I left Hawaii a better person because of my Detention. I learned so much from her -- and a lot about myself at the same time. I felt optimistic that we’d be friends for the next 20 years. 

Changing gears, I was able to get to know Maricela while we were in Hawaii and I do know that she had a lot of regrets from high school. She knew what Jessica said made sense, but in her heart she wanted to spend time with Scott W. While I know she really enjoyed Chad’s company, her heart wasn’t in it from the moment she left the house with him. One thing you have to know is that Chad is the most "meat and potatoes" person I have ever met, so to see him struggle to get the sushi down was classic! He still looked a little green when they arrived back at the house. If I remember correctly, he had a steak when he got back! I’m pretty sure that he won’t be going to any sushi bars back home.

It was great to see Andrew come out of his shell (well, maybe not all of him!). When he arrived and I realized he was bunking with Manny and Dennis, I was a little scared for him. But they really took him under their wing and helped boost his confidence -- just what he needed. I was touched by his sincere feelings for Lynette after all this time. He was extremely brave to come to Hawaii and confess his feelings in front of all of us. Especially since he didn’t know everyone! I’m not convinced that Manny and Dennis have that much "game," but it was nice of them try to show Drew some moves. Manny, you’re not a player anymore! 

   

Hearing the word "friend" come out of Lynette’s mouth was a tough one for Drew. When he came back to the house, it was obvious that he was disappointed. But in his usual crazy way he showed us that he was movin’ on. YOU GO, DREW! 

Renee, I just want to say that you look EXACTLY the same as high school. I am so jealous!   

I feel like the drama for me is over......or is it?

Where do I start? The previous conversation with Liz didn’t go well. It was a very long conversation -- and you only got to see a couple minutes of it. I felt terrible that something I said had hurt Liz. I said I never had bad feelings toward her and I would have never wanted her to feel bad. I said I was so sorry that something I did was so hurtful and that it was never my intention to hurt her. I wasn’t making excuses -- I was only trying to explain how I felt.

In hindsight I think it would have been better if I’d just said I’m sorry and didn’t say another word. Liz said I couldn’t do anything to fix it or make the situation better, which pretty much summed up exactly how I felt. She said I was still a bitch. I’m not sure what I did to deserve that, but I really felt no matter what I did she had her mind made up before I got to the house.

I can understand why Scott H. wanted to go home. I too wanted to go home that same night. It’s hard to describe, but some days were so hard to be in that space. It was sometimes hard to understand why we chose to be there in the first place.  The incident Liz was speaking about was in the seventh grade and since I was only 12, I don’t even remember being at that particular slumber party.

When I said that Liz didn’t get my humor I was referring to the “fat *&^%$#” comment. But before the daggers start flying, let me explain what I mean. Liz was very tall and thin in junior high and high school. I CAN totally see me calling her a “fat *&^%$#” as a sarcastic exaggeration of the opposite. For example, if we were all sitting around talking about how fat we were (like we did back then – ridiculous, I know) I could see me saying, “Yeah, ‘cause you’re a real fat *&^%$#.” I can see NOW that wasn’t the right thing to say to Liz, but I didn’t realize it at the time. No one deserves to be treated badly and it definitely upset me that my words or actions caused someone pain.  

On to the overnight [Detention with Liz]: I thought it was SO funny! My grandma would have been proud, because she taught me how to fish, hunt and camp. I really did gut a fish with a dull butcher knife. We really cooked that little fish on a fry pan that we had balancing on the fire that Liz started -- and it was actually pretty good. The tent situation was like a scene out of an old Abbott & Costello show; we were trying to put it together for what must have been hours, and when we almost had it complete we found the instructions.

We were left alone on the beach all night. We didn’t fit in the tiny one-man tents: Our heads stuck out the top and when it rained, we had to zip ourselves in and when it stopped, we unzipped so we could stretch back out. The most ironic part was the pain we both felt after sleeping on the beach without a pillow -- and only when we woke up at the crack of dawn and rolled over did we discover what appeared to be a blow-up pillow tucked in the sleeping bag. That was priceless. 

We had some good conversations on the beach that night, and were finally able to move beyond the hurt and put our issues to rest. 

I really enjoyed how Dennis and Manny took in Andrew and made him their little buddy. It was all in good fun and I think something about the friendship gave him a little pep in his step. I enjoyed seeing the transformation, although I was glad I wasn’t at the pool to witness the entire transformation -- if you know what I mean! I thought Lynette handled the situation with compassion and grace; I loved how she was direct but also kind. I did like the new added confidence and sense of style -- way to go, Andrew! I hear that he’s in a happy relationship today and wish him all the luck!

Last but not least, I was so excited to have Renee come to the house. Although I didn’t know her well in high school, I knew who she was and always thought she was a smart, cute and very nice girl. I was excited for new energy in the house and knew she was someone I could have fun with. Thanks, Renee, I really appreciated having you in the house as my other awesome roommate!