High School Reunion Blog

Whew. The emotions of this day of the reunion still seem very raw for me. I truly didn’t know what to think when I got up the morning after Dennis' attack on Shalonda, Heather, Scott S. and myself. The emotions that you see are real; it was a tough day. We were talking about the situation because most of us were unsure of how to handle it. Personally, I have never been in that type of volatile situation and didn’t know what to do. I was angry that Dennis hurt Shalonda, Scott S. and Heather more than I was angry at him for throwing obscenities at me.  

Tyrone accusing us of talking behind Dennis' back was completely off the mark. We were simply discussing the events of the evening and contemplating what course of action we should take as a group. It was definitely what we needed to do. Dennis was not even in the house for any of us to talk to him. And when Dennis did arrive back with Scott W., I don’t think any of us even knew where to start! It was a hard decision for all of us who were voting for Dennis to go home. 

Look, I understand that people make mistakes, and at least half of the group had no previous interaction with Dennis, so we had no history to go by. But the thought of allowing him to stay and risk another outburst was not something I was prepared to deal with. My feelings changed about Dennis when I heard his apology. It was so heartfelt and honest (not at all what I expected). It was at that point that I felt the entire group have a change of heart. To see my friend Shalonda forgive him was inspiring to me. How could I NOT forgive Dennis when Shalonda took the brunt of his attack and was able to forgive him? I was not only inspired by her act of forgiveness but changed by it.  

We were all affected so much by the drama with Dennis. Behind the scenes Shalonda, Scott S. and I were trying to talk Scott H. into staying. I have to admit that it was very hard to hear Scott H. say he was embarrassed by the situation. He was just taking a stand and I respected that, but I was so terribly sad to see him leave. I wanted to get to know him even more and I knew that I was going to miss him! Scott is such a great person and I know it was difficult for him to leave because he was forging some great friendships. 

OK, so I know I said this before, but Lynette was not a snob! OMG! The way she handled the situation with Drew was so classy. Let’s face it, when you envision a "secret admirer," that vision doesn’t typically include someone like Drew. I’m not saying that to be mean, but when the options are going through your mind it’s more like Brad Pitt -- or as Manny so appropriately suggested, Justin Timberlake. That said, Lynette was extremely gracious to Drew. I know she came to the reunion to possibly explore a connection with someone so I think she was little disappointed, but she didn’t let it show. How flattering to have been admired for 20 years! 

Jenny, Jenny Jenny. Hmmmm, where should I begin… the tension between Jenny and me just seemed to increase every day we were in the house. It felt so much like high school, with me talking to my friends about it and Jenny talking to her friends about it.  I think part of my hesitation in confronting her was that I honestly didn’t know how to address what she did to me in high school. All of the bad feelings I had about Jenny were based on that past experience -- and I didn’t know who she is now so I was unsure of how she would react. She just didn’t acknowledge the way that she treated me and how that affected my high school experience. For me, that was the most frustrating part. If someone at the reunion felt I was mean to them or treated them badly back then I would have at least acknowledged their feelings -- even if I didn’t "remember." 

Scott S., Shalonda and Chad were my sounding boards at the reunion. So of course I confided in them that I didn’t feel like Jenny was sorry for the way she treated me throughout high school. They understood. My feeling was that Jenny was just making excuses, so when she did apologize it just didn’t sound like it came from the heart. And that may just be the way Jenny apologizes, but to me it seemed forced.  

What you don’t see on screen is Jenny and I talking about my daughter being a cheerleader and that I have taught her to treat everyone the way she herself wants to be treated. I instill that in her because of the way Jenny treated me in high school -- I would never want someone to feel like they were not welcomed or accepted. It was very emotional for me to sit down and talk to Jenny (in addition to the anger you see). I wanted her to understand that it DID affect my self-esteem back then -- but I just didn’t feel like it was getting through to her the way I wanted it to.  

Believe me when I say that I DID NOT carry this around with me for 20 years. I have moved on, but in a strange way it did feel good to tell Jenny how she made me feel. It’s difficult to feel resolution when you don’t feel the other party truly understands or acknowledges your feelings. My hope after my heated conversation with Jenny was that during the rest of the time in the house we could eventually be on the same page. 

I have to say that I was so glad the drama with Dennis was over -- but then there’s the drama with Jenny! Drama, Drama, Drama!